Wanna see something really scary?
Then wait for MTV to repeat their recording of Legally Blonde: The Musical, because that mess is all the proof you need that the Devil is alive and working. On Broadway, no less!
However, if you wanna see something scary-weird rather than scary-dreadful, then grab the third volume of Alfred Hitchcock Presents. Wow, that dude is out there with a capital "Macguffin." And based on these very cool episodes from the 1957 season of his CBS anthology, Hitch was also the man when it came to scoring serious talent.
Fresh off the bat, there's Jessica Tandy in "The Glass Eye" as a spinster who falls for a ventriloquist. You'd think that would be creepy enough, seeing how anyone who talks to wooden dolls is scarier than Jason Voorhees on cheap trucker meth, but no. It gets way wilder after Miss Daisy starts to hang out with the object of her singular affections. Trust me, you almost feel dirty by the final credits.
Then there's Jack Klugman and E.G. Marshall in "The Mail Order Prophet," which is must-see for any sucker who's ever clicked on an email offer to "Get bigger and go longer" thinking that shizz works, followed by turns from filmdom heavyweights like Vincent Price, Peter Lorre and Fay Wray. Oddly, Tandy and a pre-Ellie May Barbara Bel Geddes each show up twice in different tales, which means that either Hitchcock totally thought people wouldn't notice or the ladies' agents were peddling them around Hollywood with buy-one-get-one deals.
Now, if you're like me, you're thinking "ooooh, Alfred Hitchcock. Pyscho...horrifying stuff." And you'd be sorta, kinda right. He is the master of suspense, no doubt. But horrifying? Not so much. Like the man himself, these bon mots of the bizarre are freaky, off-center and understated. So don't go in expecting screams, OK? But definitely expect to be impressed. And unsettled. Which ain't so bad for a show that's older than probably all of us looking at this blog today. Plus, I will always think Al is cool because the late, amazing Helen Holbrook dug his stuff- when the family got our very first VCR one Christmas a hundred years ago, we watched every one of his films (and Footloose) over the course of three days. Then my brothers tried to recreate the murder in Rope using me as the victim and that was the end of that.
Speaking of good times as a tot, can we say "amen" to TV on DVD that allows those of us who grew up in Munsters-favoring homes to get in with The Addams Family? Not that I didn't love me some Lily and Herman, but you know how it is. You're either Ginger or Maryanne, Jeannie or Samantha, and Munsters or Addams. Now, we can all be Team Everyone! And the recent Addams Family releases are a hoot and a half, much more ahead of their time than I ever imagined. I mean, who knew Morticia and Gomez were sosaucy. Should have known, the woman is wearing sheer curtains as daywear and he had that John Waters 'stache. Freaks. I love it!
For something a bit more modern- and a tad more macabre- there are the first two seasons of Ghost Whisperer ready to keep your player busty...I mean busy. And to anyone out there who's all " Jennifer Love Hewitt seeing dead people? Please!", lemme just say, you're missing out. I understand if you don't watch because Ghost is on Friday nights and you go out. That's me, too! But these sets make it oh-so-simple to spend a few hours getting your chill on without having to bail on your dinner reservations. They're uniformly affecting as mini-morality tales and the original J-Lo really is charming. A few words of warning, though: the episodes do tend to get a bit weepy (like the pilot which still breaks my heart), Hewitt's boobs get way too much screen time and the first-season finale will mess with your head like nobodies business. I'm not giving anything away by saying that it also sets up a very morose start to season 2, but by the time Camryn Manheim shows up as Melinda's new bud, you'll forgive what they do to Aisha Tyler.
Oh, and Jay Mohr keeps popping up as a professor and the guy who plays Hewitt's husband is a drop-dead, stone-cold babe. Two more reasons to add the current and far darker third season to your DVR schedule.
OK, that's it for this week. But before we go, I wanted to give you a heads-up. Next month has some ginormous sets coming our way, so start saving those pennies. November 13th brings us Gilmore Girls: The Complete Series, with all seven seasons on 42 honkin' discs, and Nov. 27th has The O.C.: The Complete Series in one of the coolest packages I have ever seen. They make great gifts, but let's be honest. These are sooo headed for your collection, right? I know, I'm already rearranging my shelves, too!
Next week: What are your favorite Halloween episodes?
Until then, don't hog the remote. And whatever you do...don't fall asleep.
(Name that movie!)
Ghost Whisperers, ghoulish Hitchcock and the grand Addams Family…oh my!
Wanna see something really scary?