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Game of Thrones: 13 Things Jon Snow Actually Does Know
You know... some things, Jon Snow
If there's one thing everyone knows about Jon Snow (Kit Harington), the sexy, scowling hero of HBO's Game of Thrones, it's that Jon Snow knows nothing. Seriously, N-O-T-H-I-N-G.
His complete lack of knowledge on virtually all topics is one of the most universal truths of the Game of Thrones universe -- especially since the most recent season finale, when we learned that Jon's know-nothingness extends even further than previously imagined, dating all the way back to the circumstances of his own birth. (In a major, albeit unsurprising, flashback, Jon was revealed to be the son of Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark, a fact kept secret for the sake of his safety -- and a whole new lynchpin on which to spin a million more "You know nothing, Jon Snow" memes.)
But you know what? Enough about all the stuff Jon Snow doesn't know. He knows plenty. He knows, like, at least twelve things.
No, wait. THIRTEEN.
1. He knows he doesn't know everything. (That's why he's delegated Sam Tarly to be the educated brains of his operation in the north.)
2. He knows that smiling is overrated.
3. He knows that murderous traitors deserve neither mercy nor a quick death.
4. Almost nobody knows how to slay a White Walker, but Jon Snow? Yep. He knows.
5. He knows how to do it. You know. IT.
6. Actually, he knows lots of sex stuff. He definitely knows more sex stuff than you.
7. He knows what that thing over there is. That big fan-looking thing. What do you call it?
8. He knows it's important not to skip leg day... or so one can surmise.
9. He knows how he feels about you. Yes, you, personally.
10. He knows a contractual loophole when he sees one.
11. He knows the precise angle at which one should face the wind to achieve a Pantene-perfect, tousled look.
12. He knows how to breathe and be alive and stuff. Yes, he does. He just forgot for a few days but he's FINE NOW, OKAY.
13. And man oh man, does he know how to give an inspirational speech. Even Lyanna Mormont was moved.
Jon Snow and all his knowledge will return when Game of Thrones does, on July 16 at 9/8c on HBO.