PrimeTime Thursday I never thought I'd write these words, but after watching the short segment on Billy Ray Cyrus, I dug deep and found the strength to forgive him for "Achy Breaky Heart." Seems Mr. Cyrus found himself in the sticky predicament of having impregnated his then current and former girlfriends at the same time. But instead of putting his skyrocketing career first, he dedicated himself to being a good husband (he married the current girlfriend) and father (he sees his son by his ex whenever possible). I'll never forgive him for that mullet, though.
FriendsSo fans picked the Brad…
Friends So fans picked the Brad Pitt Thanksgiving episode as one of their favorite episodes of all time. And for the most part, I agree with the selection. Turkey Day installments have always been funny on this show, mostly because it's an easy excuse to get the gang together to reminisce about the past. And this show's basically a hoot, with Brad showing up as a formerly fat high-school pal of Ross's whom Rachel tortured way back in the day but now has the last albeit cheap laugh at her expense. But I'm probably going to ruffle a lot of feathers with my next pronouncement: Like a certain matinee idol named Tom whose appeal continues to baffle me, Brad Pitt can't act. Sure, he's drop-dead gorgeous and can exchange bons mots with the likes of George Clooney in cinematic confections like Ocean's Eleven, but have we all forgotten Cool World, The Devil's Own and Meet Joe Black? Some would beg to differ with me, citing the likes of A River Runs Through It, Seven and Fight Club, but those films, like Ocean's, can only be judged on the sum of their parts and it's safe to conclude that Pitt's performances were likely enhanced by the myriad of talented others involved in those projects. But I'm not saying that there's no hope for him at all. Look at his Emmy-winning wife, Jennifer Aniston. Very few could argue that the words "Oscar hopeful" sprang to mind when our dear Miss Green burst into Central Perk 10 years ago. Survivor: All-Stars When is this going to get interesting? I'm sorry, but other than the fact that all of these folks have done this drill once before, I'm running out of excuses to watch anymore. Do I care that pity-party-pooper Ethan takes his team's losses so personally? Or that Big Tom's masculinity is threatened by Rupert's ability to provide for their tribe? Or that emaciated Amber's attraction to boorish Boston Rob is obviously attributed to her brain's desperate digestion of itself to keep her bony body upright? For those of you who don't recognize sarcasm, the answer across the board is a big, fat NO! Of course they voted off Colby! Look at who's left: Lex, Ethan, Jerri, Shii Ann and Kathy (who was not at Tribal Council because Chapera chose her to share in their reward challenge of a day of feasting away from the island). It's basic Survivor strategy: Monopolize on the benefits of the strong ones until it looks like they're about to start snacking on the bottom-feeders and barnacles. Will & Grace Edie Falco and Chloe Sevigny guest star as lesbian realtors vying for Grace's aunt's apartment. Oh, how I hoped that this would be funny, especially since Falco is such a brilliant dramatic actress and I was certain that her powerful performances on The Sopranos would pale in comparison to her comedic ability. (It's a long-held belief in the acting world that it's easy to make people cry, but you're a force to be reckoned with if you can get them to laugh. Which I guess is why so many folks love Lucille Ball and Jackie Gleason. And why I don't.) And Falco was luminous, easily shedding her frustrated North Jersey mob wife shell to slip on a sexy tailored pantsuit to assume the identity of a sleek Upper West Side real-estate agent. It's just too bad the writers couldn't come up with anything else for her to do but berate her partner (Sevigny) and try to get Grace to be her new associate by flirting with her. And I don't even want to go into how they wasted the talents of Sevigny, who was so good in Boys Don't Cry (in which she was smitten with another girl) but was reduced to uttering unfunny one-liners about her lover's rules ("She likes me thin"; "She likes me pale.") and venting all of her pent-up sexual frustrations on Will. And although TV psychic John Edward's cameo as himself was simply cringe-worthy, you gotta love this parting shot from Karen after he tells her he can't contact Stan for her: "And to think I almost voted for you." I wonder if presidential hopeful John Edwards has the same problem... Extreme Makeover Curses, foiled again. I was under the impression that this was an update show on post-procedural lives of three past patients, but all I got was a lousy clip show. The Apprentice Despite my sympathy for her mother's serious illness, I was ready to grab Heidi by the shoulders and shake her until those rolling eyes of hers popped out of their sockets and rolled across the boardroom table. Common Sense 101: Do not make faces at The Donald unless you want to be tossed out on your perky little keister. Unless, of course, that was your intention all along, as I strongly suspect it was with Heidi. Being a former Philly girl, I felt a certain home-town loyalty to the sassy sales rep up until tonight's theatrics. I'll miss her pluck, but not her saying "f---." And did you all know that Carolyn is 35?! 35! And she's been working for Trump for about 10 years! I'm 30 and I've had six jobs in the last 10 years. And five hair styles. Princess Diana: The Secret Tapes, Conclusion What's wrong with our society that instead of allowing this beloved but troubled woman to rest in peace we dig up and broadcast old tapes of her personal reflections and struggles to establish an identity for herself outside of the stifling royal fortress she inhabited for so many lonely years? How many times can we tell the same tragic story about the girl who married a prince only to find out that he would turn into a toad? This two-part special reeks of tabloid journalism, from its cheesy opening credits to its onscreen graphics to its smarmy host, Jane Pauley. The program's only saving grace was some "never-before-seen" video of Diana getting help from a speech coach. Here, we get what might be our only glimpse of the real Diana: self-conscious, tongue-tied and skittish. But what's really telling is her reaction when young Princes William and Harry enter the room and she switches to Mommy mode. She allows them to sit in as long as they are quiet and she shares a laugh with them when she becomes flustered by one of her interviewer's questions. Although somewhat distracted by the presence of her boys, she seems more relaxed, as if the friends she had been waiting for somewhere had finally arrived. Unfortunately, that contentment was too short-lived but it's somewhat comforting to know that it did in fact exist.