Friends, NBC
After this, only one more rerun until the final season! I have the same fear Phoebe has about the cell phone still being on even though she just hung up. Burning question: Why are these New Yorkers so tan? Catch the name of the cologne Phoebe was sprayed with? Incentive for Men. Almost as classic as Hombre. And to dispel any misconceptions: Yes, women go to dressing rooms together, just like we go to the restroom together. But we don't go in the same stall. I realize this happened so the gals could gab in private, but don't go thinking we do anything else in there but talk. Sure John Stamos is "sperm-tastic," but why's he crossing his legs at the dinner table? And for the love of Hank Azaria, Phoebe must marry David. Mike's a weenie. Yay! A final-season promo. Oh. My. God. I need a tissue.

GAP Commercial
Earth Wind and Fire's "Do You Remember?" is such a better song than that cover of "Feelin' Groovy," but what happens in October? (I don't even care what happened to that Madonna-Missy Elliott train wreck...)

Steve Harvey's Big Time, WB
Part It's Showtime at the Apollo (without the boos), part The Gong Show (without the blessed gong) and part That's Incredible! (without John Davidson), this variety show showcasing stupid human tricks included a tween James Brown impersonator and a washing-machine escape artist. Ho hum. Luckily, the second half spiced things up with a man who makes sandwiches with his feet and a guy who opens beer bottles with his belly button. And the biggest oddity of them all: An audience member who volunteers to eat said sandwich and guzzle said beer. He must be in training for Fear Factor.

What I Like About You, WB
Gang, a weak cover of a great tune is still is a weak cover. 'Nuff said. After all those years playing pouty-pussed Kelly on 90210, it's really nice to see that Jennie Garth actually can smile. Oh, yeah, Amanda Bynes is cute too. But I don't get the Lucille Ball comparison, backhanded compliment that it is. She seems talented enough. Great idea, Garth taking the cheesecake home in her purse, but if you watched carefully, no one actually ate it. And where's Simon Rex? The Lord giveth, then he taketh away...

7Up Commercial
DNR that dnL campaign.

Run of the House, WB
Joey, sorry, Joseph Lawrence as the responsible sibling? Whoa! At least his haircut is serious. Um, the goofy dance vignettes between scenes only work on That '70s Show. And a high-school junior driving a Mini Cooper? Is this The O.C.?

ER, NBC
In a mere half hour, there was a solar eclipse, Romano's arm was amputated, a Buddhist monk passed away, a heart-attack patient died, a construction worker was impaled on a steel rod that was embedded in concrete, a stolen infant was recovered, and Carter blew up at Kerry (finally!) and blew off Abby (finally!) to help Luka in Africa: "It's not Rio, but it's not here." I hear ya, Carter. And about that upcoming special on weight-loss hosted by Dr. Phil and Katie Couric? Are you nuts? I have two words: Oprah Winfrey. Anyway...

Grease
I can't surf past it. That damn "You're the One That I Want" sucked me in this time. And I double-dog-dare you to not sing along with "We Go Together." Hey, there are worse things you could do.