Penn Badgley, Chace Crawford and Ed Westwick from Gossip Girl by Andrew Eccles/The CW Penn Badgley, Chace Crawford and Ed Westwick from Gossip Girl by Andrew Eccles/The CW

Hey, Uppity Ausholers, Gossip Guy here with a piece of prattle that's going to make your ingrown toenails curl.

I'm hearing from an extremely reliable source that a male character on Gossip Girl will be revealed to be of the gay persuasion when the show returns on April 21. Who? Can't say. Won't say. It's too good a surprise. I will, however, offer five tantalizing clues.

" This person may or may not be pictured above.
" The revelation significantly impacts the lives of at least three people.
" The aftershocks will be felt on both sides of the East River.
" Some viewers will be surprised by the twist, others not so much.
" In the Gossip Girl novels, Dan was known to be a bit of a switch-hitter - which isn't so much a clue as it is a fact. A misleading fact? Perhaps. Perhaps not.

Think you got it figured out? By all means, share with the class.