John Travolta by Jeff Vespa/WireImage.com John Travolta by Jeff Vespa/WireImage.com

Attached to the big-screen adaptation of Dallas for more than two years, John Travolta has been released from the role of J.R Ewing and "given a nice seven-figure 'gift' to go away quietly," a source tells Page Six. A pal of the former Vinnie Barbarino confirms the news, saying the film's producers "have gone in a different direction than was originally intended."

What sort of different direction? Originally envisioned as a dramedy, the talk is that Dallas will now be a "comedic, behind-the-scenes" "show-within-a-show" a la Bewitched, and that Ben Stiller has been offered J.R.'s 10-gallon hat. Wow, there is just so much wrong with that previous sentence.