Eminem is opening up about his past drug abuse for one of the first times in a new documentary.
"I don't know at what point exactly it started to be a problem. I just remember liking it more and more," the rapper also known by his real name, Marshall Mathers, confesses in How to Make Money Selling Drugs.
Eminem, who entered rehab for sleeping pill addiction in 2005, said he initially ignored accusations of a drug problem since he wasn't using hard drugs like heroin or crack. When confronted with the idea that he needed help, "I would say, 'Get that f---ing person outta here, I can't believe they said that sh-- to me,'" he recalled. "'They don't know nothing about my f---ing life, are they out of their f---ing mind? I'm not out there shooting heroin, I'm not out there putting coke up my nose, I'm not smoking crack.' ... I literally thought I could control it."
Eminem was forced to face the seriousness of his pill abuse, which included Vicodin, Valium and Xanax, when he overdosed in December 2007. "Had I got to the hospital about two hours later, I would have died," he said. "My organs were shutting down. My liver, kidneys, everything. They were gonna have to put me on dialysis, they didn't think I was gonna make it."
Once released, Eminem said he didn't sleep for three weeks and relapsed after a month. "I remember just walking around my house and thinking every single day, like, I'm gonna f---ing die. I'm looking at my kids, and like, I need to be here for this."
Eminem, who is father to 17-year-old daughter Hailie Jade as well as two adopted children, says his recovery entailed relearning basic motor and speech skills. He says he has now managed to kick the addiction. "It's been a learning process," Eminem said. "I'm growing. I just couldn't believe that anybody could be naturally happy or naturally function or be just enjoying life in general without being on something."
Eminem is only one of many participants in How to Make Money Selling Drugs, which opened this week. Produced by Entourage's Adrian Grenier, the film also features interviews with 50 Cent, Woody Harrelson, Rick Ross and The Wire creator David Simon.
Watch part of Eminem's testimonial from the film below: