Question: Your ego is bigger than Barry Bonds' head. You devote 50 percent of your column to Gilmore Girls, 35 percent to your ego, 10 percent to yawning bunnies and 5 percent to actual inside dirt. Your column is a sham, and I wonder how you live with yourself sometimes.

Answer: Did you go back and research past columns to come up with that breakdown, or was that off the top of your head? Either way, your percentages are eerily accurate. I'm not kidding. You pretty much nailed my top-secret formula for AA.