Have you ever wondered what it would be like to touch Donald Trump's hair? Probably not.

But now, at least one woman is familiar with it.

At a local Chamber of Commerce event — not a campaign stop — Donald Trump did what Donald Trump does best: Talk about how Donald Trump is the victim of a cruel and uncaring media.

To the surprise of the 100 or so attendees, he pulled out a copy of the New York Times, featuring a front-page article about his recent altercation with Univision's Jorge Ramos. Evidently, the businessman took issue with a line from the story about his hair, which many people believe is a toupee. (Well, after first bragging about making the front page of the New York Times, of course.)

Donald Trump Kicks Univision Anchor Out of Event

"Ricardo Sánchez, known as 'El Mandril' on his Spanish drive-time radio show in Los Angeles, has taken to calling Donald J. Trump 'El hombre del peluquín' — the man of the toupee," the article begins. (The article goes on to elucidate that other Spanish speakers have much more derisive nicknames dreamed up for The Donald, including Hitler, but Trump only felt the need to address the toupee part to the audience.)

'"I don't wear a toupee! I swear! We're going to settle this," he told the crowd, ominously pointing to a woman in the front row and gesturing for her to join him on stage. "Come up here — you have to do an inspection."

"This is crazy!" he says, apparently referring to the need to do the toupee inspection and not the actual act of demanding a stranger examine his follicles. The woman from the audience politely peers at his scalp and pats the back of his head and nods. He asks her to assert her findings into the microphone and reassure the audience that he's never met her before (you know, the thing magicians do when they have a plant in the crowd).

Watch the whole thing: