Desperate Housewives: The Spin-off

Ever since Desperate Housewives creator Marc Cherry revealed that the twinkle in his eye is, in fact, a spin-off of the soap that has viewers in a lather, TV Guide Online has been focused on predicting its sister sudser's scenario. With some of our propositions, the network could probably clean up. And others? OK, we admit it — they just don't wash. Read on, then vote for the plot you're "desperate" to watch.

Desperate Housewives 2: Bree Van De Camp Living... Better: Anyone on Wisteria Lane will tell you that no one throws a nicer dinner party or bags a more fragrant potpourri than Bree (Marcia Cross). At last tired of whipping submissive spouse Rex (Steven Culp), she decides to dominate something more challenging — Martha Stewart's turf. Going Hollywood, the artful and crafty multi-tasker terrorizes producers into picking up her series, then further establishes herself as a force to be reckoned with by putting out her own magazine. After all, she reasons, if there's one thing she's got plenty of, it's issues.

Desperate Housewives 2: Back in Business: Fed up with her out-of-town husband and out-of-control brood, Lynette (Felicity Huffman) runs away. Not far, though, just back to the boardroom, the safe haven where her opinion last held some sway. If only it were the high-stress utopia she remembered: Since she got out of the rat race, all manner of vermin have clawed their way to the top, meaning that before our heroine is allowed to make another executive decision, she'll have to win the ultimate game of cat-and-mouse.

Desperate Housewives 2: Angst-Ridden Coeds: Since his May-October affair with Gabrielle (Eva Longoria) is as dead as fragile foliage left outside all winter, buff bush-wacker John (Jesse Metcalfe) grants his parents' fondest wish by agreeing to go away to college. But the folks quickly come to regret their decision to ship Junior off to greener pastures when the frosh meat, now faced with countless nubile buds to, um, pluck, gets hailed by Sorority Row as the campus's biggest man.

Desperate Housewives 2: America's Last Top Model: Once Carlos (Ricardo Antonio Chavira) discovers what blossomed between his missus and his gardener, he tosses Gabrielle out on her pert butt, inadvertently reminding her that she prefers to land on her feet. So, dusting off her portfolio (and erasing those recent department-store and boat-show appearances from her r&#233sum&#233), the ex-covergirl heads back to Manhattan, where she is forced to face facts: As a non-adolescent, she's virtually unemployable as a model. Of course, after a closed-door session with the head of a management firm, she struts away with an even cushier new gig — agent!

Desperate Housewives 2: Angels with Dirty Faces: As the body count continues to rise on Wisteria Lane, the neighborhood reconvenes in the hereafter, leading to an awkward reunion between ill-fated homemaker Mary Alice (Brenda Strong); her tormentor, busybody Mrs. Huber (Christine Estabrook); and the individual whose skeleton was in the Youngs' closet (well, technically, their pool). The best thing about this surreal-afterlife spin, though, is that, as the enemies compete over everything from cloud-sculpting to harp-playing, Mary Alice finds herself too busy to keep doing those annoying voice-overs!