Tonight's episode of Dancing with the Stars was an extra-special two-hour bonanza of... stuff. Backstage and behind-the-scenes footage, recaps of dances we've already seen and guest performances dominated the 120-minute broadcast, when all we really wanted to know was... WHO GOT ELIMINATED?

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The episode's biggest shock actually came about halfway through, when it was revealed that in addition to frontrunner Laurie Hernandez and Marilu Henner, Rick Perry -- who sat at the bottom of the scoreboard with partner Emma Slater -- was safe from elimination. Hey, I guess that desperate campaigning worked for once, Rick. Don't mess with Texas and its many phone-voting citizens!

Stretching the elimination out to bone-breaking proportions, Dancing with the Stars reviewed every couple... slowly... like two hours slowly... and picked out pairs who were in jeopardy of getting kicked off the show by the fan vote and the judges' scores. Ryan Lochte and Cheryl Burke, Maureen McCormick and Artem Chigvintsev, Jake T. Austin and Jenna Johnson and Amber Rose and Maksim Chmerkovskiy were on the chopping block, their dreams of dancing wearing thin like Amber's Dothraki boots.

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But the people of America spoke, and in the end it was Jake T. Austin and Jenna Johnson who were banished from dancing EVER AGAIN. Or at least on this season of Dancing with the Stars.

In good news, we get at least another week of Ryan! Say it with me... JEAH!!!

What did you think of the decision?

Dancing with the Stars airs Monday nights at 8/7c on ABC.