Jason Lee and Ethan Suplee, <EM>My Name Is Earl</EM> Jason Lee and Ethan Suplee, My Name Is Earl
Dancing with the StarsI think I was the only person in the office who didn't watch this over the summer, and I regretted it for months, so I had high expectations here tonight. The only problem is, it seems like the show's producers have decided that everyone else watching was a fan of the first season, so we got very little explanation of how the celebrities and partners were matched up, how long they had to learn their dances, what dances to expect in the coming weeks, etc. How about a little bit of love for the new people here? Master P says he got all the people in the 'hood to watch! OK, I'll cut to the dancing right away, like the show did:

George Hamilton and Edyta Sliwinska: I thought George would be pretty good, since he's older and maybe dancing would come with the Hollywood-legend training. But alas, he was ruined by a yachting accident and had to rely on visual jokes. The little footwork he did was promising, so maybe when he feels better, we'll see more flair. Loved Edyta's dress can she put her groceries in there, too?
Lisa Rinna and Louis van Amstel: How much would I love to be as flexible as Lisa when I'm 42? Sans scary collagen injections, though. I liked how flowy their waltz was, but I'm no expert, so I couldn't see the "nervous legs" the judges mentioned.
Kenny Mayne and Andrea Hale: Kenny's enthusiasm and robotic movements in the cha-cha reminded me of the nerds in my sixth-grade cotillion class he knew he'd be bad, so he just played class clown, hoping for laughs instead of admiration. And it worked.
Stacy Keibler and Tony Dovolani: I think Stacy's legs are longer than my whole body. She had a lot of nice balletic poses in that waltz, putting her long limbs to good use. I just wish she did some actual movement and footwork to the beat. This time, though, the judges were less critical than I.
Drew Lachey and Cheryl Burke: From the rehearsal montage, you never would have guessed how good these two would be in their cha-cha. I was poised to make some mean Nick comments, but this performance made that completely unnecessary.
Tia Carrere and Maksim Chmerkovskiy: Tia is as radiant and gorgeous as ever, just months after having a baby. Her body must hurt, though. At least that's what it looked like with those overly careful turns and slow movements. Again, I'm way more critical than the judges.
Master P and Ashly Del Grosso: Props to P for stepping in at the last minute and being a good sport about his "gangsta cha-cha." I bet they didn't have time to special-order dance shoes for those monster feet of his. Would that explain his Frankenstein-like performance? Poor Ashly really tried hard to move enough for the both of them.
Giselle Fernandez and Jonathan Roberts: I do agree with Len and Bruno's praise of Giselle's rise and fall in the waltz. Still, it was a rather bland dance overall.
Jerry Rice and Anna Trebunskaya: Anna's bossy abuse of the football legend was rather adorable; I hope she hasn't damaged his ego too badly. He looked supernervous on the dance floor, but that booty shaking (and the cute football shuffle) saved him.
Tatum O'Neal and Nick Kosovich: Was Tatum on something to calm that queasy feeling the spins gave her, or is she naturally that weird? They were smooth and made that waltz look nearly effortless, though. No one was more shocked than Tatum that she pulled it off!