1. Work that mike. "Get on stage as often as you can. Do karaoke, crack jokes in between verses of the songs, etc..."
2. Practice makes perfect. "Use your friends, cousins, whoever... Practice your material and try it out on people."
3. Go on record. "Get one of those handheld recorders. It's your lifeline. Record your ideas, flesh them out."
4. Pay your two-drink minimum. "Watch all comics, not just the pros. But don't go around stealing material!"
5. Prep for hecklers. "Have some lines prepared for them, but like Richard Jeni [said], make sure you hear what the heckler said. They might be saying 'We love you!' and you go and insult his mama."