Turns out Simon Cowell's not really bad, he's just drawn that way. As reported in TV Guide magazine's new TV News column (hey, that's my column!), in a recently-taped episode of The Simpsons (to air in March '04), American Idol's Judge Dread voices a brutally honest admissions screener at one of Springfield's most desireable pre-nursery schools. "Homer and Marge are trying to get Maggie into the school, but she has to interview [with Cowell's character] first," explains a show insider, who adds that the biting Brit is parodying, not playing, himself. Suffice it to say, Cowell who recorded his dialogue on June 27 in London doesn't react with compassion when he discovers that Maggie's mute. Pick up the current issue of TV Guide (on sale now) to read the Paula Abdul dig that caps this story!