"Do you want anything?" asks Conan O'Brien, as he opens the fridge in his cluttered office. "Canned tuna? Bottled ketchup?" Although his cupboard is pathetically bare, NBC's Late Night host has plenty on his plate. The show recently earned its ninth Emmy nomination. And on Sunday at 9:30 pm/ET, the 40-year-old O'Brien celebrates his 10th anniversary with a live, 90-minute prime-time special. It's rumored that Jim Carrey, Bill Clinton and even the Masturbating Bear will show up. But, says O'Brien, "It's prime time, so we may have to put [the bear] on a depressant to keep him from getting overly excited."
TV Guide Online: What historical event would you compare your first year on air to?
O'Brien: Gallipoli. Just lots of troops running over the trenches and getting mowed down, with huge British losses. The first year was historically important, but not pretty.
TVGO: What would make the anniversary extra special for you?
O'Brien: If I could unify the Palestinians and the Israelis at the close of the show, I think critics would have to give it up for me.
TVGO: If you started your own clothing line, what would it consist of?
O'Brien: I'd have a cool pocket on the side of the leg to hold antacid tablets. I would put my face on the ass and reflective strips on either side for safety. And my ads would say, "Are you ready to enter the Cone Zone?"
TVGO: Your wife, Liza, is expecting your first child in October.
O'Brien: Yeah, we did a sonogram recently and the doctor said, "The baby's healthy, but the head is larger than normal." It was the ultimate paternity test for me.
TVGO: How much longer can you do this?
O'Brien: Shows like M*A*S*H and Seinfeld stopped when they were on top. My plan is to last seven years longer than the show is good. I call it the "Wear Out Your Welcome" plan.
TVGO: What do you think when you watch the early shows?
O'Brien: I look really young. When I got this show, I had just turned 30 and I think I looked 21. I looked like a little kid and talked like a little kid and wet myself like a little kid.
TVGO: Are you going to be extra decked-out for the anniversary special?
O'Brien: My hair will be the most impressive it's ever been. My hair tends to literally rise for the occasion. A lot of men complain about performance anxiety; my hair always delivers. Whenever I'm called to go out in front of a large national audience, my pompadour just grows another three inches. So I promise viewers just if nothing else, the hair will be good that night.
TVGO: Why should people watch this show?
O'Brien: It will be the funniest thing you see on television this week, unless you caught an episode of The View.
TVGO: Andy Richter is making a guest appearance. Any chance he'll try and get his old job back?
O'Brien: I don't think he wants it back. He knows I promised it to Abe Vigoda. Abe Vigoda gets it first, then Dr. Joyce Brothers. If something happens to either of those people, than it's Andy again.
TVGO: If you weren't a late-night host, then what?
O'Brien: I'd be the guy delivering your TV Guide. I'd be the kid who throws it into the hedges, instead of putting it thought the mail slot like you're supposed to. So either way, I'd be part of TV Guide.