I am completely flabbergasted! All it took for Nancy to avert the certain danger, or even death, headed her way courtesy of the penny-dropping dealer was a roll in the hay. More accurately, she pacified him in a back alley on the hood of a car. What makes her think he won't come back for more? How disturbing was that? I mean, a suburban housewife can only go so far before getting in over her head. I imagine viewers recognize this, but Nancy seems clueless, as usual. She thinks she took care of the situation. I am not so certain that costing someone thousands of dollars of income is remedied by a single sexual encounter. If so, go Nancy. She must rock beyond belief if that keeps him at bay.

But on to the dysfunction I have come to love: Celia tells her husband in typical fashion that she had sex with a black man. Hysterics ensue as Dean follows her around with an electric razor. It is only fair, he says, to dole out equal punishments, since he got a buzz cut for his infidelity. The two finally give voice to every ugly aspect of their marriage, which should have been done months ago. The tension comes to a close with Celia tossing her engagement ring down the garbage disposal and then the two make love. Definitely an odd follow-up to the years of baggage they so viciously unloaded, but the pseudoreconciliation ends with Dean inquiring about the size of Conrad's man parts. Oh, the delicate male ego.

Finally, Nancy and the kids attend her husband's tombstone unveiling. In Jewish tradition, this usually occurs one year after the burial. Has it been one year? And Andy's speech was hysterical, more of a free-flowing stream of consciousness about how much he dislikes himself. What a family! Vanessa Rothschild

Got a comment for one of our Watercooler writers? Submit it via the feedback box at the bottom of the page.

Got a question about Survivor: Guatemala? Tell us and you may see the answer in TV Guide magazine.

We've got video previews, photos, premiere dates and more from fall's new and returning shows right here

Did you name your child after a TV character? Tell us what character and why and TV Guide magazine may even feature your little cutie in an upcoming issue! (Please include your contact info.)