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CHRIS DOESN'T ROCK

The nation's TV critics seem to agree with Sean Penn's assessment of Chris Rock's Oscar-hosting performance: It sucked. USA Today described the raunchy comic as "one of the worst hosts ever — particularly when you factor in the expectations." The Hollywood Reporter complained that most of Rock's comments "didn't rankle, nor did they resonate," while the New York Post groused that he was "woefully undistinguished... You could even tell from the audience's reaction that he was flopping." The Associated Press offered one of the few positive reviews, saying Rock gave the stuffy awards show "a needed pick-me-up." Finally, the Society of Straight Men Not Connected to the Entertainment Industry released this statement: "Sidney Lumet's daughter has a nice rack!"

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The nation's TV critics seem to agree with Sean Penn's assessment of Chris Rock's Oscar-hosting performance: It sucked. USA Today described the raunchy comic as "one of the worst hosts ever — particularly when you factor in the expectations." The Hollywood Reporter complained that most of Rock's comments "didn't rankle, nor did they resonate," while the New York Post groused that he was "woefully undistinguished... You could even tell from the audience's reaction that he was flopping." The Associated Press offered one of the few positive reviews, saying Rock gave the stuffy awards show "a needed pick-me-up." Finally, the Society of Straight Men Not Connected to the Entertainment Industry released this statement: "Sidney Lumet's daughter has a nice rack!"