At the taping for his upcoming Comedy Central roast, Charlie Sheen endured quite the verbal beating. But the former Two and a Half Men star says he came out of it "unscathed," according to Entertainment Weekly.
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"Once again, I come out unscathed. You can't hurt me. I can't kill me," Sheen said at the conclusion of the taping. "Did you really think your little jokes were going to hurt me? I did porn stars; I did drugs. Then I did the one thing everybody in America wishes he could do. I told my boss to f--- off. And then it was gone. I'm done with 'the winning' because I've already won."Sheen, of course, is referring to his media assault against Two and a Half Men
executive producer Chuck Lorre
when the show failed to resume production after a hiatus was taken for Sheen to enter rehab. Sheen was eventually fired and will be replaced on the CBS sitcom this fall by Ashton Kutcher
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Still, the self-described warlock who runs on tiger blood was in good spirits Saturday, despite being slammed by host Seth MacFarlane
, roast regular Jeffrey Ross
and celebs including William Shatner
, Mike Tyson
, Jon Lovitz
Some choice (and vulgar) quips are below. The Comedy Central Roast of Charlie Sheen
airs Monday, Sept. 19 at 10/9c.Ross:
"Charlie if you're 'winning,' something is wrong with the scoreboard. If you're winning, this must not
be a child custody hearing. The only time your kids get to see you is in reruns — don't you want to live to see their first 12 steps?"MacFarlane:
"Charlie, you claim to have 'tiger blood,' but after all the porn stars you've banged, it's probably Tiger Woods' blood."Lovitz:
"How much blow can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men."
Comedian Anthony Jeselnik:
"The only reason you got on TV in the first place is because God hates Michael J. Fox." (Sheen replaced Fox on Spin City
when he left the show because of his Parkinson's Disease.)Steve-O:
"Charlie still hasn't hit rock bottom, he is looking forward to it though because he thinks there's a rock there."Will you watch Sheen's roast?