Camille Grammer says it's not easy to play yourself.
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star, 42, will parody her reality TV persona when she guest-stars on $#*! My Dad Says as — you guessed it — a divorced reality star named Camille searching for a new home.
"It definitely lampoons the whole reality genre," she tells TVGuide.com. "There's some line that my so-called producer says: 'Camille's been rehearsing her spontaneous moment.' So I found that to be very funny."
Still, she "found it difficult" to play a semblance of herself. Grammer also initially felt uneasy about the role, largely because of how she feels she's been perceived on Real Housewives."I wasn't sure what part of me they wanted to see," she says. "You make fun of yourself and you laugh and it's kind of cathartic."
The issue stems back to a bigger problem Grammer had with the end result of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' first season. "I don't think it was a true portrayal of who I am as a person on the show and that's what I was very disappointed with," she says. "There's reality and then there's reality TV."
Grammer drove that point home throughout the show's two-part reunion, when she brought up her charity work and her time spent with close friends that failed to make it to air. "I think it was important for people to see who I really am and not a cut-down version," she says. "After the reunion show, I definitely felt empowered by it and felt, 'This is me.' I can stand up for myself. I'm not always flubbing my lines or saying something mean or harsh."
Although she felt satisfied with her portrayal in the reunion episodes, Grammer says she is still undecided about whether she will return to Real Housewives next season. Reports first popped up in early January that she was not coming back, and Bravo reportedly has approached two potential new cast members: Jennifer Flavin (Sylvester Stallone's wife) and Brandi Glanville (Eddie Cibrian's ex-wife).
"The producers and I have sat down and we've talked and I think we're going to talk again [this week]," she says. "I'm on the fence. I'm not sure if I could handle going through that again."
Grammer also says the recent changes in her personal life will play a big factor in whether or not she returns. When she first signed on to the series, she was happily married to Frasier star Kelsey Grammer. The two split during filming of Housewives' first season after 13 years of marriage. Their divorce was finalized Feb. 11.
"It's bittersweet. We were together for a very long time and all of a sudden now he's getting married, so I don't think it's easy for any woman to go through that," she says. "But I don't begrudge his happiness. I want my ex to be happy."
Grammer says she's just looking forward to the day when she and Kelsey, and his fiancée, Kayte Walsh, can find common ground. "Hopefully down the road, when we all feel that we're ready, we can be friendly because I want what's best for my children, especially if we're going to co-parent."
$#*! My Dad Says airs Thursday at 8:30/7:30c on CBS.