Shock-jock Howard Stern announced today that he'll jump to Sirius Satellite Radio in January 2006 in a five-year deal worth $500 million. Stern, whose current pact with Infinity Broadcasting ends in 2005, has been threatening to bolt to satellite radio, where he won't have to answer to the FCC. "It has been my dream to have the top-rated show in radio since I was 5 years old," Stern said in statement. "Sirius — the future of radio — will take this dream to a whole new level as I bring my fans my show my way. It will be the best radio they will ever hear." Until then, you'll have to make do with the crap that's on now.