Big Brother 5
It should shock no one that Jase got the boot over Marvin this week. But I don't think anyone could have been more shocked than Jase when host Julie Chen reunited him with his "cuddle buddy," Holly, on live national TV. Did you all see how uncomfortable he was sitting next to her? He looked like his skin was crawling at her touch. The surprise of the night for me? Cowboy Michael shaved off that scraggly beard and dare I say it — the boy looks... better! It just goes to show that you don't have to go under the knife on ABC to get an extreme makeover. Sometimes all it takes is a shave and a haircut. Speaking of hair, for folks who aren't supposed to leave the house or have contact with the outside world, everyone looked suspiciously well groomed. They've been in the house, what, seven weeks? All I know is that my roots start showing after four weeks, tops.
Blue Collar TV
Tonight's theme was "TV," and while skits like Hick Eye for the Queer Guy and a game show called Hug You or Hit You hosted by the increasingly creepy Ron White relied heavily on redneck humor, the parody CSI: Greater Greensboro did amuse me. Especially the vapid blond investigator modeled after the vapid blond weapons expert on CSI: Miami.
Last Comic Standing
Here's my beef with this hourlong season finale: For weeks we've been rooting for our favorite aspiring comedians as they vie for America's votes for favorite comic, and yet sets from last season's winner Dat Phan and runner-up Ralphie May dominated the first 30 minutes of the show. And I guess I wouldn't feel so cheated if Phan and May were funny, but they weren't, so I do. And I'm betting Alonzo Bodden, Gary Gulman and winner John Heffron felt the same way, too, after their 10-second sets. Also, we learned that there's another installment coming after the Olympics pitting Season 1's contestants against this last crew, a la Survivor: All-Stars. And Jay Mohr had the nerve to knock Fox when he said that there would be a twist to the next edition but it had to be kept secret until tonight because "Fox is watching and they'll steal it." Although something tells me that he may have gotten a certain measure of satisfaction in ripping the network that canceled Action.
The big story? Chemical hair straighteners do they deliver what they promise and which one is right for you? And y'all wonder why Barbara Walters is retiring in September.
Celebrity Poker Showdown
SNL's Seth Meyers is this round's champ, beating Jeff Gordon, Steve Harris, David Cross and Dave Navarro. Meyers also wins the Joke of the Night award with this inspired little exchange with Cross:
Cross [trying to decide whether or not to play his hand]: C'mon, bracelet. What would Jesus do?
Meyers: I don't know. Let me ask my Mel Gibson watch.
Graham Norton Effect
Guests Anne Hathaway and John Waters made an unexpectedly delightful duo, especially when the notoriously blunt Waters said he would blush if he were to mention euphemisms for a certain sex act in front of Hathaway's face. Meanwhile, not only did three guys respond to a "personal ad" "blood drinkers preferred" posted on a Times Square Jumbotron, but they were also all game for making out with a life-size doll with a camera crammed down its throat to give viewers a unique perspective on their respective kissing techniques. Not exactly the kind of reassurance a single girl in the big city is looking for.
Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Cheap jokes and extenuating circumstances aside, I think Jon Stewart deserves kudos for kicking off tonight's show with this observation about New Jersey governor Jim McGreevey's sudden public revelation of his homosexuality and intended resignation: "Wow. A remarkable piece of courage on his part, I think, to come out and then he resigned. And I gotta say, I really hope that it's not because he's gay and openly saying he's gay. I hope that's not where we're at... Well, you know what? That probably is where we're at, quite frankly. But how sad is that?"