When Punk'd prankster Ashton Kutcher made his That '70s Show cast mate, Wilmer Valderrama, think that his new hot rod had been totalled, we thought he was ruthless. But, it turns out, he was merely righteous! "The reason that happened," the Butterfly Effect leading man explains, "is because I got to work [at the Fox hitcom] one day, and these two clowns [Valderrama and Topher Grace] had stolen all my furniture out of my dressing room and hid it in the closets.

"I called up security," he continues, "and had them come. We were going to call the cops [before the jig was up]. So [slaughtering what appeared to be Valderrama's car] was just payback."

Despite the no-holds-barred trickery behind the scenes of That '70s Show, Kutcher insists that he isn't out to one-up his costars professionally. The idea that, as Demi Moore's high-profile steady and Hollywood's newest matinee idol, he has somehow moved beyond the scope of the ensemble is "kind of silliness," he scoffs. "I enjoy hanging out with everybody here and trying to make a great show that other people can appreciate."

Moreover, since the lanky heartthrob's off-screen romance made him a tabloid darling, punching the clock has seemed more like a vacation to him than a job. "The past couple of months have been a little different," he acknowledges, "and that makes [my camaraderie with the '70s gang] even more valuable.

"When I step out of my house, I'm not alone anymore," he elaborates. "I have no time [where I'm not] being chased by some camera or something. So when I actually get to the set, it's a breather. It's nice." Provided, that is, that his sofa is where he left it.