The Apprentice All right, I now have a theory that one of the circles of hell somewhere between the never-ending diet of Fear Factor-size bugs and the eternal cold shower where you're out of shampoo is devoted entirely to watching non-songwriters attempt to write songs. In the presence of actual musicians, no less. Oh, the humanity! Seriously, where's

Wyclef Jean when you need him? The re-reshuffled teams take on the painful task of coming up with an original song for a major satellite radio program (side note: I've decided that until I start getting my fair share of the advertising revenue, I'm not going to take part in this 13-week product-placement-palooza anymore!) with an undiscovered recording artist of their choice. The newly liberated Capital Edge has a regular Kumbaya fest alongside their Maroon 5-esque singer, while Excel attempts to write the hit single "Clay's Way or the Highway" in a style that befits their own "Nigerian Seal meets Lenny Kravitz." As it turns out, Clay may have finally met his match in Rebecca, who winds up being the only project manager able to stand her ground against his magnificent blend of whining and subterfuge. And she's standing that ground on crutches, mind you. While I'm still stinging from Marshawn's disappointing 180 last week, I should probably go ahead and make a new preposterous pick: Rebecca and Randal in the final two. Although before you go running off to Vegas with that hot tip, let me remind you that I'm very, very bad at this.

After the fireworks of recent weeks, I suppose we're due for an anticlimactic boardroom of course it's Clay who goes home. The only way that guy could've squeaked by for another week is if somehow Markus had crashed the task and forced the Donald to fire him all over again.