For Housewives fans, there is no better day than when new taglines are announced. And at long last, we have finally been blessed with the new taglines for Real Housewives of Orange County Season 12.

This season — which already looks amazing based on the trailer — will see the return of Vicki Gunvalson, Tamra Judge, Shannon Beador, Meghan King Edmonds and Kelly Dodd, plus the re-introduction of Season 8 alum Lydia McLaughlin and the debut of new Housewife Peggy Sulahian.

But how do these ladies stack up based on their new taglines? Let's break it down.

7. "I'm living the American dream one sports car at a time." - Peggy Sulahian
When you're a new Housewife, first impressions are very important and this tagline doesn't exactly bode well for Peggy. It is the definition of basic.

6. "If you can't take my sparkle, then stay off my rainbow." - Lydia McLaughlin
WTF does this even mean? Pass!

5. "I can handle a baby and women who act like one." - Meghan King Edmonds
Good to know that Meghan is going to be just as boring this season as she's always been.

4. "The truth is organic, but lies are just artificial." - Shannon Beador
Shannon would have shot to the top of this list had she found a way to work Dr. Moon into this tagline instead.

3. "I go big or go home, and I'm not going home." - Vicki Gunvalson
This tagline gets points just for reminding us that Vicki will never, ever, ever leave this show. And for that, we are grateful.

2. "If I want your opinion, I'll give it to you." - Kelly Dodd
The more you think about this statement, the less sense it makes. Which, in all fairness, is perfectly reflective of Kelly.

1. "I'm pint-sized, baptized and highly prized." - Tamra Judge
It rhymes! It reminds us of that time Tamra got baptized in a hotel pool! This is truly what having it all looks like.

Real Housewives of Orange County returns Monday, July 10 at 9/8c on Bravo.