Meow! Sadly, it seemed like E! declawed Joan and Melissa Rivers for this year's Academy Awards, but those alleycats from The View picked up the slack with a feisty bitchfest of their own. If you nodded off before After Party at The View their hour-long show following the Oscars you missed Babs and her daytime co-hosts firing off potshots aplenty. And pulling some Joan-worthy gaffes! Here, we take a little time to enjoy the 'tude...
As usual, Walters played Mother to her hen party, trying (but mostly failing) to keep a bit of order and decorum. Reacting to Halle Berry's speech about opening doors for African-Americans, Joy Behar ranted: "Then they showed her white mother. That was weird. She's talking about being a black actress with a white mother!"
"Did you happen to watch my special?" Babs scolded. "No. You were busy getting made up." Walters then explained the racially-mixed Berry's roots to her politically incorrect co-host. Poor Joy talk about inserting her Jimmy Choo heel in her big mouth! Adding to the awkwardness of this moment, Lisa Ling plugged boyfriend Rick Yune's role in Die Another Day, which just happens to co-star Berry as the first black Bond girl. Uhm, can you say irrelevant?
Speaking of random and unnecessary, why did The Viewers interrupt their fun to devote a full segment to chatting up Peter Fonda? A past Oscar nominee with no actual relation to this year's kudofest, this B-list bore made us snore. For next year's special if there is one Babs should look for a better booking. On the bright side, we adored the merciless fashion commentary. Some especially sassy soundbites:
Shocked by braless beauties like Jodie Foster
and Jennifer Connelly
, Walters offered: "Maybe it's the mother in me, but there were several ladies who all I wanted to do was pull [their tops] up a little bit." Said oddball Meredith Vieira
: "But Barbara, that might not be the mother in you. That could be the lesbian in you." Reeling, Babs cried: "I wanted to pull [them] up, not down
's murky eyeliner very Royal Tenenbaums
-eque and her ill-fitting Yves Saint Laurent
dress elicited audible groans from the audience. "Somebody's getting fired for that thing they put that po' chile in," Star Jones
complained. "There's no way in the world you think that looks good when your boobs are hanging down like that!"
While Star likened Connelly's beige gown to "a dishrag," she loved Sharon Stone
's knockout dress. Joy blithely observed: "[Sharon] looked different, though. There's something about her. I think she had botox on her forehead because you cannot see any lines." (Ouch!)
In a camp fury, Meredith skewered the stars' worst hairdo offenses. She called J.Lo
's bouffant hairstyle "very Sharon Tate
in Valley of the Dolls
." Meanwhile, she wondered whether baldie Ben Kingsley
had gotten "a Brazilian bikini wax on his head."
If Babs and co. can iron out the kinks and keep things this
candid this post-Oscar soiree will be appointment View
ing every year.