In the upcoming UPN sitcom Rock Me Baby (airing Tuesdays at 9 pm/ET beginning Sept. 16), MTV mainstay Dan Cortese plays, in essence, the king of all media. But sshh! Don't tell him that he's been crowned the new Fartman. "I'm not modeling my [shock-jock character] on anybody," he insists. "I mean, I'm up at 5:30 in the morning with my [2-year-old] son, but we're not listening to Howard Stern!

"I've listened to Kevin and Bean quite a bit here on KROQ in Los Angeles," he continues, "so obviously I've heard these types of [radio personalities], but I don't really want to pattern myself after anyone. I want to make this guy my own."

Whatever. If the Veronica's Closet alum believes it, who are we to tell him that he's kidding himself? Besides, aside from that little case of life-swapping, the part of a young-at-heart dad seems tailor-made for the handsome lug, who clearly prefers hip-hop to An Evening at the Pops. "When I read this script, it was scary, because I felt like someone had cameras set up in my house," he says. "It really spoke to me and my friends who have children. [We] can really relate to this.

"You may think some of the humor is sophomoric," he adds, getting a mite defensive, "but I'm sorry — I'm still a little sophomoric myself, as Dan. And when I see that on television, where the whole show doesn't just contain dumb jokes but actually has some substance at the core of it, that's something that I can relate to." Here's hoping that he has a lot of friends...