Today's column was written by Matt Webb Mitovich.
gave birth to a baby boy Wednesday afternoon, according to an US Weekly
report. The first-time mom, perhaps fearing the pain of natural childbirth to a fedora-wearing newborn, had the child — named Preston Michael Spears Federline
, by some accounts — via Caesarean section. Hubby Kevin Federline
, who already has two kids from a previous relationship, was at Spears' side during delivery, although unreliable sources say he was heard asking security guards where the nearest exits were. (Ouch. Now that's
a rough delivery, folks.)