Today's column was written by Ben Katner.
LIFE GOES ON

Florence Henderson
VH1 has announced the has-beens who will be cohabitating in the sixth season of its megahit
The Surreal Life. They are — and I swear I'm not joking —
The Jeffersons'
Sherman Hemsley,
Whitesnake video vamp
Tawny Kitaen,
Poison guitarist
C.C. DeVille,
Playboy TV's
Andrea Lowell,
Smashmouth rocker
Steve Harwell and
Alexis Arquette, Rosanna,
Patricia and
David's cross-dressing sibling. Wait, it gets better:
Florence Henderson will also be on hand as the roommates' official den mother.
Charlene Tilton's application was rejected yet again.