Steven Curtis Chapman by Rick Diamond/ WireImage.com
Three months after losing his daughter in a car accident involving his teenage son, Christian singer
Steven Curtis Chapman
has opened up about the family's "deep, deep, deep sadness."
Chapman, 45, and his wife Mary Beth lost their 5-year-old daughter Maria Sue on May 21 after she was accidentally struck by an SUV driven by her brother, Will Franklin, 17, in the driveway of the family's Franklin, Tenn. home.
"At first you don't even know if you can breathe. You don't know if you are going to survive the grief and the deep, deep, deep sadness," the singer told
. "You just want to lay down and die."
He continued, "Every lyric I've ever written has been tested beyond what I ever imagined."
Will did not see Maria in his path, and police ruled her death an accident.
"Faith is the only way I can tell myself she's okay. She's safe in the arms of Jesus and she's flyin' around," Will said.
The teen and other family members have been seeing a counselor, but the healing process is still slow and painful.
"I'm broken and I would give anything to have my baby girl back," Mary Beth Chapman said. "But that's not going to happen."
The clan is doing its part to honor and remember Maria, who was one of three children adopted from China in 2004 by the Chapmans. The parents, Will and 18-year-old son Caleb have gotten tattoos in her memory. -