South Beach
So Miami Vice doesn't need to worry: It's still the coolest show set in South Florida ever. Well, Miami Vice and Golden Girls. Possibly Good Morning, Miami. OK, just kidding on that last one. Anyway, sorry J.Lo, but your show is pretty much beauty and the beat. It's got a kickin' soundtrack and lots of pretty, almost-nude people struttin' their stuff at the beach, at the club and on Ocean Drive, often in slow motion. However, it's just a tad light on something called substance. Two Brooklyn dudes leave their Jennies-from-the-block and head to the sunnier pastures of South Beach. One wants to track down his model ex-girlfriend. The other wants to track down girls, money and power, not necessarily in that order. And shock upon shocks, they find cool jobs on day 2 of hitting the Sunshine State. Yup, just like real life.

Don't worry, I did like some of it. I mean, the fact that it's the equivalent of a Jackie Collins novel is not something I really ever have a problem with. But as much as the show seems to be going for the younger demo, I wish they'd showcase more of the adults. Vanessa L. Williams is solid. I really want to find out more about her character's messed-up relationship with her baby-faced son, Jett Jackson (sorry, he used to play Jett on the Disney Channel). I love it that he's threatened by the fact that she dates guys his age. More power to ya, Vanessa. I also love Giancarlo Esposito. I remember when he guest-starred on Miami Vice back in the day. Now Esposito's playing the resident heavy going up against Ms. Williams. One minor quip: The accent, dude — not good. And I want to thank South Beach for giving Michael Pare a gig. Seriously. Eddie and the Cruisers? Awesome. So I, for one, was happy to see him, even though he was playing the lead guy's dad, whose gambling problem had him walking on the dark side. ("On the dark side," get it?) And did you get a load of who's gonna be on the show next week? Steven Bauer. Scarface's Steven Bauer. Very cool. In conclusion, the beachy drama is so-so, but I'm so digging the adult crowd. Yeah, I must be getting old. — Bettina Charles

Lost
Wouldn't it be funny if they showed the backstory of one of the random survivors and it was all happy and uncomplicated? Because, really, I don't think anyone on this show could win a game of "Whose preisland life was most tragic?" Although becoming a scary guerrilla fighter/gangster to save your brother and then getting him killed while trafficking drugs does rank up there. I've got to commend Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje's acting skill: Before tonight's episode, his eyes had already told us what menace, sympathy and sadness Eko was hiding under all that faith. And man, is he clever, too. Did you notice how all Claire said was that Charlie carried a statue, and he guessed the entire thing? That's kind of an odd assumption to make. Charlie, on the other hand, is not so good with the detective work. "You're a priest!" he finally exclaimed after finding the dead guy with a collar and noticing the scripture on Eko's "Jesus stick." Armed with all that tragedy and faith, Eko scared away the black-cloud monster with just a mean ol' glare. This was the DVR slow-mo play of the week: After many rewinds and pauses, I'm pretty sure I could make out the shadowy images of the old man he killed, the church, his brother and the statue-selling lady. Seems to me like the monster is made up of what haunts you from your past. And after the kind of life he's had, neither that nor the insane coincidence of surviving a plane crash on the same island your brother crashed into years ago could make you flinch.

In other island matters: First, either someone in another Dharma station is messing with Michael, or Walt is communicating telepathically. No way could that Apple IIc or whatever it is have IM. As for Michael's mission, I hope no one finds out he wasted a whole jar of ranch dressing on target practice. Second, is Charlie stockpiling heroin in anticipation of some future desperate moment? And third, in that one simple haircut scene, Kate and Sawyer really looked like a couple — something about the way they were so comfortable together. And by the way, I want lessons in benign cursing from Sawyer. Let's introduce "bullpucky" into our conversations today. It might scare away any nightmares Eko's story might have left us with. — Sabrina Rojas Weiss