Somebody sent a feedback comment last week that read: "So Dave, I take it you don't like the show." Let me explain what a "train wreck" is. You're driving by a train accident and no matter how disastrous it appears to be, you can't help but look away. A TV train wreck is similar — a disaster that is so bad, it's good. I can't help but be amazed at what has become of the Whitney Houston
I admired when I was younger. I'm talking the "Greatest Love of All" Whitney. The "I Wanna Dance with Somebody" Whitney. And, of course, the "I Will Always Love You" Whitney. But maybe this is how she's always been — maybe she's just hidden this side? The way Bobby
acts on this show is the way I assumed he's always been. But Whitney? "It's Not Right, But It's Okay." On to the countdown…
10:00 pm At long last, they're at home or at least one of their homes. This one's the main one — their "country club" home in Atlanta. Whitney tries to braid Bobby's hair.
10:01 Bobby does his Rick James impersonation, per Whitney's request, but he sounds more like Yoda.
10:02 Bobby tells Whitney they're going to Dave & Buster's. Whitney says, "That's for kids," which makes Bobbi Kristina stick her tongue out at her mama. I think, "Why are they going to Dave & Buster's? I thought we were going to see them at home. I don't like this show!" Kidding.
10:03 Whitney puts a hat on that Bobby thinks looks Russian. Rushin' to Dave & Buster's, that is.
10:04 Right away there are fans as they enter. Bobby is greeted with "Can I have your autograph?" followed immediately by "Where's Whitney?"
10:06 Whitney already wants to leave — so much she'll even "hitch a ride." She walks out singing.
10:07 Rather than go back home, Bobby stops at a batting cage/go-cart place. He can't seem to hit a ball and says, "I need a bigger bat." Somehow I think Whitney would disagree.
10:15 Finally, they're home — but a different one. This time it's their "second home" in Morristown, N.J. Lots of photos of Whitney on the walls. None of Bobby. He shows us their former studio/current game room where their awards are kept, including his "five Grammys, seven American Music Awards and two People's Choice Awards."
10:16 Bobby wants a foot massage so, of course, we get a close-up of one of his feet and, of course, Bobbi Kris gives us a "Eww!"
10:17 Bobby and Whitney sing a frightening a cappella duet of "Born to Be Wild." Whitney morphs into Linda Blair à la Mercedes McCambridge in The Exorcist.
10:20 Bobby says cigarettes are like terrorists, but they "kill more people" (even though he has one in his hand) and then says, "George Bush put me in jail."
10:21 Whitney screams "Kiss my a--!" Cut to commercial break.
10:25 Bobby's at a studio and is handed a hot cup of tea since his voice is groggy and asks, "Is there liquor in it?" He proceeds to sing, and I can't decide if he sounds more like James Brown or Burgess Meredith.
10:27 Bobby belches and Whitney screams "Bobby, what's wrong with you?"
10:29 Bobby to Whitney: "I'm gonna bite your a-- tonight." Whitney with the enthusiasm of Bea Arthur: "Uhh. My god, I'm excited."
Next week: The season finale — "Bobby Brown's Greatest Hits" — all the best scenes, including our favorite catch phrase, "Hell to the no!" plus some "all-new, never-before-seen footage." Hell to the yes!