Death and taxes aren't the only things you can count on; rather, you can bet good money that E! Entertainment Television's "Live from the Red Carpet" specials, hosted by Joan and Melissa Rivers, will kick off with a combination of Depends, body odor, fart and rectal thermometer jokes. After all, what better way to set the tone for a glitzy gala like the Golden Globes?

For Sunday night's foray down the crimson rug, did Team Rivers establish a theme? Well, aside from celebrating the birthdays of Lorenzo Lamas, the grandmother of Dule Hill (The West Wing) and co-host Melissa herself, the night's hallmarks were a few good sound bites, traditionally bad gaffes and wayyyy too many cut-aways to mega-star Nicole Kidman.