Scarlett Johanssen by Jamie McCarthy/WireImage.com
Crushing pretty much the world's entire heterosexual male population,
has let it be known that she will not be playing X-rated movie star
, a movie about Jameson's checkered past. "Scarlett has no interest in playing this role," sniffs her rep.
Not even if our own Matt Webb Mitovich would consider her nuanced portrayal of the adult-film scorcher, like, totally the best birthday present ever?
In other casting news,
to playing the underling that brittle boss
strong-arms into marriage to avoid deportation in
.... Also, ABC has signed
Party of Five
to a development deal. All of which will be cold comfort to Matt.