Buttonz? Yodeling? Paul Wall? If I am at all current on the music kids are listening to these days - and my niece Phoenix will be the first to say I am not - it's only because my weekend routine finds me watching VH1 videos while doing cardio ( and reading the latest periodicals, because I'm such the multi-tasker) at the local health club. Herewith are my thoughts on some of today's heavily-played "tracks," in no particular order other than how they pop into my mind:

"About Us," Brooke Hogan (with the aforementioned Paul Wall)
So, this is Hulk's daughter, eh? I read something somewhere about how she whipped herself into shape for this, partly via mad amounts of jump-roping, hence (I can only assume) the activity's inclusion in the vid. Mr. Wall's orthodontic issues aside, it's a catchy tune, though I must opine that Brooke and her posse get served in the video's dance-off at the end. I mean, did you see that one chick's crazy leg moves? It's like she has no femur.

"My Love," Justin Timberlake (featuring T.I.)
Cool black-and-white color scheme.

"Hurt," Christina Aguilera... by herself! How old school!
I do love her exemplary pipes, but please, spare me her acting. Yes, Xtina was surprisingly good that time on SNL, but in this vid, when she's doing the flashbacky "autograph signing," mugging for the flashbulbs and stuff, it's like she's a low-rent sidewalk mime. Makes Britney's bathtub suicide ("Everytime") look like Meryl Streep.

"Wind It Up," Gwen Stefani
I had heard about the yodeling, but now I have actually heard it. Um, interesting. But I have really taken a shine to Gwen's stylings, she sure knows how to churn out a memorable ditty. And to think I didn't notice at first that the Harajuku girls were playing the "children"!

"London Bridge" and "Fergalicious," Fergie
The former is so unapologetically derivative of "Hollaback Girl," I simply can't hold it against Ms. Ferguson, who struts through the vid in all her hardcore, arm-folding poser glory. The latter and more recent single fell a bit short for me in execution, though how exactly does one illustrate Fergaliciousness? (Shameless plug: Coming up in Friday's Interviews & Features, my Q&A with Las Vegas' Josh Duhamel, aka the dude who wakes up to Fergie many a morning.)

"Buttonz," The Pussycat Dolls with Snoop Dogg
My problem with the otherwise highly watchable PCD videos: All I can think about is the backstage, behind-the-back grumbling that must go on between the Dolls who aren't Nicole Scherzinger. It's bad enough that she is painted as the only one actually singing (purring?), but the director seldom dwells on anyone else for longer than a half a second. I think they have another vid out now ("Wait a Minute," this time with Timbaland), and eureka! One of the gals actually gets discernable face/lip time. She must be so happy. (Me, I thank the PCDs for the image of an MTA subway car where pretty girls pole-dance. Now that'd be worth a $2 fare.)

"White and Nerdy," Weird Al
Yes, it's true: This is one of the two songs I have thus far downloaded onto my new iPod shuffle. And yes, it's also true: I was humming it the other day when, while walking through the theater district, I passed - wait for it - Donny Osmond himself. I felt so... guilty.

"How to Save a Life," The Fray
What, no Izzy? No Burke? Opportunity missed.

"Save Room," John Legend
Pulse rate... dropping. "Calories Burned" stats at risk. Must... change... channel.