Question: Love, love, loved the verbal ass kicking Emily gave Logan's mom on last Tuesday's Gilmore Girls. It just proves once again the brilliance behind that show.


Answer: I knew you guys were going to eat that up. And not to take anything away from Kelly Bishop's sublime delivery, but major props must go out to Dan Palladino for scripting the classic smack-down. In case you missed any of it, I'm posting the entire monologue here. Feel free to commit it to memory and then recite it to the raging bitch in your life:

EMILY: Ah, yes. Well, let me tell you this, Shira — we are just as good as you. You don't think Rory is good enough for your son? As if we don't know Logan's reputation? We do. But he is welcome in our home anytime, and you should extend the same courtesy to Rory.… Now, let's talk about "your" money. You were a two-bit gold digger, fresh off the bus from Hicksville, when you met Mitchum at whatever bar you happened to stumble into. And what made Mitchum decide to choose you to marry amongst the pack of women he was bedding at the time, I'll never know, but hats off to you for bagging him. He's still a playboy, you know. Well, of course you know. That would explain why your weight goes up and down 30 lbs. every other month, but that's your cross to bear. But these are ugly realities. No one needs to talk about them. Those kids are staying together as long as they like. You won't stop them. Now enjoy the event.