I panicked. Fall Preview is normally the time when I giddily sit down and plan out my viewing schedule for the year. I rank my shows. Decide who gets watched live (on Wednesdays it's Bionic Woman), who gets taped ( Gossip Girl and Kitchen Nightmares) and who gets back-burnered for repeat season ( Private Practice, if it makes it).

This is normally a fun process. I look forward to it. But, like I said, this year I panicked. Why? Because with this season's CBS, CW and NBC lineups, Monday is my new Thursday while Thursday is still jam-packed Thursday. And Wednesday nights just might kill me.

There's just not enough time, not if I'm also going to do all the wonderful date stuff with Zeke, train for a triathlon and century ride, and take Mandarin classes. Crappety-crap-crap. My apartment is a wreck. I've haven't talked to some of my friends in ages. And my Scrabble game has slipped. (Grandma's gon' kick my butt.) How's a girl supposed to get 27 prime-time TV hours in each week, in a timely fashion, and still have a life?

The solution hit me during Monday's Rock of Love marathon. I'll have to take it old-school and live on the commercials. Once it gets cold I'll be cycling in the gym anyway, so I'll watch noncrucial shows there. Then when I'm home, if I can just manage to stay awake (next to TV-watching, sleep is my other habit), I can go back to doing the dishes, sit-ups, etc., on the breaks. My DVR had broken me of that habit. Heck, it's got me trying to fast-forward through live TV. And when I'm not fast-forwarding, I'm falling asleep. But no more. I can't miss my shows and I can't nix my Zeke time, so I'll combine what I can to make room for the two. That's the plan.

Tuesday, Sept. 4 - Life on the Commercials: Day 1

Tonight's Life Goals:
" Ride 15 miles (Ideally in one hour. But I'll give myself 75 minutes to stop for lights, pedestrians and stuff).
" Fold/put away laundry.
" Do the dishes.
" Install Office.

TV Goals:
" Watch the rest of yesterday's The Closer (I knocked out midepisode), Biggest Loser: Where Are They Now, Damages and maybe Chelsea Lately (what can I say, I like that rude hussy).

9:36 pm: Back from ride. I only got in 14 miles in 75 minutes (85 if you count the 10-minute break I took to watch the Caribbean marching band practice and to call my friend Hui Hwa after in-line skaters passed me in the park doing 17 mph!) That's just not right. I'm used to thunder-thighed cyclists whizzing by like I'm standing still. But skaters?! I killed myself to catch up to the slowest one so I could clock him with my odo-mach. "Dude. You're. Doing. 17 miles an hour," I wheezed. "It's a slow night," he replied before sprinting off to catch up with his partner. Crazy-fit people make me sick.

10:30: I ate a 15-point potpie (what am I crazy?) while watching the rest of The Closer. "Topper" shows up in court and it's "to be continued." Crap. If I'd known it was going to be a two-parter, I would have just skipped it until next week. But, hey, the Office install is [check that box] done.

10:35 Biggest Loser: Did They Keep the Weight Off
"I've never seen a ring like that," new host Alison Sweeney gushes over the "Kraiko Diamond" Marty plans to give to Amy when he conveniently proposes later in the episode. Funny. Wonder if she's seen tacky product placement like this before. I have. Didn't like it any of the other times either. But goodness gracious it still doesn't make me hate this show. It's so inspirational. Of course, now I really regret the potpie.

Oh, Eric still looks good. He's kept off 176 of his 214-pound loss. You're my hero. And Pete's wife looks 15 years younger. New hair and 30 pounds does a lot for a woman. Note to Pete: My man, I love that you've still got the rock-hard abs, but, um, please wipe off the sweat. It's highlighting your drooping manboobs and grossing me out a bit.

The Brave One Commercial
How is it possible that Jodie Foster looks 14? She must be pushing 45 by now, if she hasn't passed it already, yet she looks like she did when she was in Foxes. Wait. This is a commercial. Ah, crappety pop. I was supposed to hit the rest of the laundry. And take out my contacts.

Back to Biggest Loser
Wylie's kept off 97 of his pounds. Cool. He's still so cute. Love his smile. Wonder if he has a boyfriend yet.

The Olay Commercial
Hey is that Top Model's Ya-Ya? You go, gir-.... Ooops. Commercial. I should start the dishes. Or I could just rest my eyes for a second.

Wednesday, Sept. 5
The fact that I'm posting this after my morning meetings at work speaks volumes. Day 1 of "LOTC" was not a big success. Last thing I remember was cooing at Suzy and Matt's baby, then looking at Matt's gobbleneck and thinking, "Ooooh, Hoover did not keep the weight off!" (Curiously enough, the couple did not show up to weigh in.) Next thing you know it was 3 am. But, hey, I've got a week to get up to six-hours-a-night TV speed. So, at 3 am I got up, finished watching Loser, opened and sorted a week's worth of mail, started Damages, and e-mailed this to the office. I also washed a blouse that had been soaking in bleach since Thursday. So what if I Kramered it and did the darn thing while I was also taking a shower. At least I got it done. One more thing off the list. Not that you need to know my list - or any of this. But I need to blog about something. So forgive me for making you suffer through my attempts to live life on the commercials.