How much do I love the fact that Joey not only had a Cabbage Patch Kid, he still has a Cabbage Patch Kid? (Although I don't want to know why it's a girl dressed like Annie Oakley.) His dolly devotion almost makes me regret donating Ellyn Valentina, Allyn Michael and Portia Something-Or-Other to charity a decade ago. That said, aside from the Bings' heartwarming baby news, this was a rather disappointing Thanksgiving because the gang spent almost the entire day apart. I know this is the last season and we have to get used to the idea that they won't be spending any more Thanksgivings with us, but isn't that also reason enough to let us share one final Turkey Day together?
Survivor: Pearl Islands
We all saw it coming: Rupert got the boot. But the real disappointment came in his farewell comments, when he lamented the fact that his whole life, all he has wanted to do is fit in, but again he failed: "I want so badly to be accepted, and I never get the acceptance I want. I don't fit. So much for my dreams." How could he instantly dismiss all of his victories thus far? Rupe, this wasn't about you not fitting in. Heck, you were the Pirate King. This is a game and they had to get rid of you because without Tribal Councils, you were going to win.
The Bachelor: After the Final Rose
Well, we all know who the star of this lame reunion show was, don't we? Not Will Ferrell lookalike Bob, not his crochet-crazed lady love Estella, and certainly not annoying baby-talker Trista and whiny "I'm not Mr. Rehn" Ryan. Nope, it's runner-up Kelly Jo, a truly lucky er, classy gal who swallowed her humiliation and pluckily congratulated the happy couple with a sincere wish: "Hopefully Estella's going to make [Bob] a better person." Here's hoping.
Will & Grace
Grace returns from Cambodia with a secret, and it ain't Debra Messing's beautiful belly bump. She and Leo are having marital problems. I know, I know, such a bummer. It's about freaking time! Hey, I love Harry Connick Jr., but I never liked the idea of Grace getting married. Ever. Why? Because nothing good can come of messing with the dynamics of a show's central relationship (David and Maddie; Mork and Mindy; Tony and Angela; Ross and Rachel; all hetero couples, but you get the point). At least she's moving back in with Will, which puts us right back where we started, a place my first-season DVDs prove is very nice indeed.
This show is great at surprise cameos and sneaking fun little gems into its soundtrack. Tonight's delights were Erik Estrada and Matthew Sweet's buoyant "I've Been Waiting" (Girlfriend is one of my all-time favorite CDs). But for the love of crumbcake, why do we have to see Zach Braff nearly naked?
Sara's Thanksgiving Secrets
Sara Moulton, one of my favorite Food Network hosts, hits the road to sample regional Turkey Day specialies. Always chipper and encouraging, the Gourmet executive chef stays cucumber-cool when preparing recipes on her weekly show, Sara's Secrets, breaking down both simple and intricate dishes. Here, she lets everyday chefs shine as they show her how to prepare holiday recipes their friends and family love. In one of this special's sweeter segments, she bakes pies with an adorable 72-year-old grandmother who calls to mind a Southern-accented Julia Child.
I am shocked. Appalled. Peeved. Rocket Romano was crushed by an exploding helicopter that fell off County's roof! Are you kidding me? They drag out namby-pamby Mark Greene's death for an entire season, but they treat Romano like the Wicked Witch of the East? Yes, the acerbic misanthrope's xenophobic, homophobic and misogynistic remarks made us cringe, but the supertalented Paul McCrane deserved a better swan song. Shoot, I'd settle for a verse of "Is It Okay if I Call You Mine?"