Dancing with the Stars
Parts of tonight's looong two-hour finale reminded me of a wedding (even more than that awful band usually does): the way the rejected couples marched in and did their obviously unchoreographed freestyle, and then the finalists kept giving their partners loving looks like they were at the altar. Other parts made me think that my DVR was acting up — we watched the same clips at least three times, just in varying lengths and orders. They had to be absolutely certain that we knew just how far these stars had come. OK, I did enjoy all those rehearsal scenes showing how adorable the relationships between the pros and their star students had become. I love how much emphasis Stacy, Tony, Drew and Cheryl placed on the fact that their partners were "like a brother/sister" to them. Yeah, I have to wonder if Tony wishes for something more. And though I'm sure this show is going to do wonders for Drew's career, if I were 20 months pregnant like Leah Lachey, I'd be making many random trips to the rehearsal studio to check in on my hubby and his perfectly proportioned partner. Oh, but this is no time for cynicism and hypothetical jealousy!

For the final cha-cha, Jerry at last realized he could let loose, though he was still visibly counting to himself. Stacy and Tony's samba failed to wow me. Certainly there were some good butt-revealing shimmies and shakes, and the steps were all perfect — it was just lacking the dazzle of some of their other performances. Maybe Stacy's foot injury is to blame. Drew and Cheryl's jive was all about the dazzle, and the judges gave no reason for only giving them 9's. Perhaps they took into account that even with Stacy's perfect score, Drew would still be ranked above her after Thursday's disco fiasco.

There was another audible gasp from me when Stacy and Tony were booted first, followed by a "Huh?" when Samantha and Tom said they must "leave the competition right now" and it was really sad to see them go... 3 feet away to the seats by the stage? So then it was pretty much settled that Drew and Cheryl won the mirror ball he had just minutes before called ugly. Jerry's Super Bowl trophies can sigh with relief that they won't have to share their space, despite his cute attempt at running off with it. And I am so glad Leah's water didn't break at the sound of Drew's piercing whoops. Can't wait until next season! — Sabrina Rojas Weiss

Ballroom dancing has made stars out of B-list celebs. Now see what it can do for you.