Marcia Cross, Desperate Housewives
Dancing with the Stars
So the Kelly Monaco theory of soap-opera fans' unbeatable enthusiasm must have a corollary: football fans. Or maybe we're seeing the proof of that other law of reality TV: viewers vote for the person most abused by the judges. Either way, I again completely underestimated my own shock at Jerry being safe for another week, while Stacy and Lisa were left to the suspense of the bottom two. Man, I am so sucked into this drama! I don't know what I would have done if Stacy had been out. Do people really want Jerry to win? On to the entertaining elements of the show — and by that I decidedly do not mean Michael Bublé's performance. I'm talking about Tom Bergeron's Charlie Chaplin-esque quickstep. So adorable. Thank you, DWTS, for introducing the genius of this man's amiable comedy to those of us who never saw him on Hollywood Squares or America's Funniest Home Videos. And as for the gratuitous celebrity endorsements of the stars, I would have been more impressed had Hulk Hogan gone the Nick Lachey route and teared up while discussing Stacy's amazing progress. — Sabrina Rojas Weiss

Ballroom dancing has made stars out of B-list celebs. Now see what it can do for you.