The Biggest Loser
It's one thing to watch the full hour-and-a-half every Tuesday night when it's new material. After all, we're all waiting for the week Mo gets kicked off, right? On the other hand, anyone who seriously sat and watched a clip-show rehash of past episodes should already know who the biggest loser is. Get a freakin' life! 

The Kennedy Center Honors
OK, so this annual festival of back-patting is a little bit cheeseball. Retired newsman Walter Cronkite passing the emcee baton to horsey Caroline Kennedy? I could've done without the hokey fanfare. But in spite of my cynicism, I couldn't help but get caught up in a few intriguing moments...
1. Ruby Dee's jaw actually drops as Angela Bassett and husband Courtney B. Vance take the stage to do a special reading in tribute to her and Ossie Davis. Then, Ruby clasps her face in delighted surprise as Audra McDonald and the Howard University choir croon "Let Us Break Bread Together" for them. Day-yum, that's a helluva tip o' the hat. But as African-American pioneers in showbiz, Ruby and Ossie certainly deserve it. By the way, didja notice that, up there in the balcony seats, the couple was flanked by Elton John on one side, and George and Laura Bush on the other?
2. That legendary Aussie songbird, Dame Joan Sutherland, started out as a typist before breaking into opera. Who knew? Let that be a lesson to all you kids. Lots of us Hollywood bigwigs started out doing office scut work. Ya gotta pay your dues. (P.S. Loved the rare TV clip of Sutherland singing "Three Little Maids from School" with Dinah Shore and Ella Fitzgerald. Wow!)
3. Erm... I don't have one. I channel-flipped over to the WB and got absorbed in...

High School Reunion
Gianni's walking around bare-chested again. The now-skinny girls are burning their old "fat jeans" in a bonfire. Jaime's torching Gianni's photo, finally possibly accepting that she's not getting him back. I wanna hate this trashy reality soap and be glued to The Kennedy Center Honors like a classy, upscale TV-viewer should &#151 but I guess I'm just not that person! Who can listen to Steven Spielberg praising Star Wars composer John Williams when the High School guys are plotting to crash the girls' pajama party? One question, though: Do straight guys really hang around the house together shirtless? An ex-frat-boy pal of mine says yes, they might, since they're in Hawaii and it's hot. Hmm...

P.S. Loretta's old flame, Brian Taylor, was a delectable blond in high school. Now? Mmm... Not so hot.

The Amazing Race
I know, I know... I promised to post the results of my informal poll from last week's column. The hottest guy and girl are Jon and Kris. Natch, they're models and a couple, so none of us can date them. Sorry kids, but thanks for playing!

Charms for the Easy Life
Just flipped over to Lifetime and found this made-for-cable movie from '02. Gena Rowlands &#151 who plays a feisty Southern matriarch circa the 1940s &#151 tosses clever bons mots, teaches an outhouse-dwelling rube how to use indoor plumbing (while curious onlookers watch at the window!) and births Mimi Rogers' baby in record time. Literally, it took about 30 seconds and the babe came out of mama's womb looking freshly scrubbed. I think I just remembered why I skipped this one the first time around.

NYPD Blue
10:08 It seems like every cop show I've ever seen has a husband beggin' the cops not to expose an extramarital affair they've uncovered during the course of an investigation.
10:29 I just marked the time and my eyes are rollin'. Pretty detectives Jackie Obradors and Bonnie Somerville take half the episode before they listen to Tracy the murder victim's answering machine. Did nobody think to hit "play" when they were at Tracy's place in the beginning of the ep? Oh yeah, these two are a real pair of super sleuths.
10:52 Jackie and Bonnie just finished explaining to the bigamist's two wives that their hubby's leading a double life. Eyes just rolled again. I'm at risk of burstin' a blood vessel over here.
10:58 I can't believe I have to wait three weeks for a fresh Blue episode! Sipowicz's Alcoholics Anonymous story line (about the killer who preys on women in recovery) had me hooked. I liked all the cops posing as drunks, telling their sob stories at meetings to attract the killer's attention. But can you picture somebody being so horned out, they'd graze 12-step meetings looking for vulnerable prospects to seduce? Even during my worst dry spells, I've never been that hard up for some lovin'.