Positing for a moment that every single "shocking" thought out of Rosie O'Donnell's mouth isn't necessarily headline news, I sum up for you her latest rant as follows:

Rosie: Donald Trump has bad hair, puffed-up finances and is in no position to question Miss USA Tara Conner's morality.

Trump, in response: Rosie is not conventionally attractive, and not only might I sue her for questioning my solvency, but I might hire a hot chick to steal away her lesbian partner. (That last part per the New York Daily News.)

Meanwhile, in semirelated news, MADD has severed its ties with Miss Teen USA Katie Blair, saying that Tara Conner's 18-year-old partner in NYC club-hopping cannot be an "effective spokesperson on underage drinking." Immediately striking up an affiliation with Blair was BABBQ (Bachelors Advocating Blotto Beauty Queens).