Nicole, America's Next Top Model
America's Next Top Model
"I'm extremely confused by the entire competition," Jayla said, uttering her first sincere words of the entire competition, and I couldn't agree more. How was she still there after both Lisa and Kim got the boot? Tyra's usual pop-psych pronouncements haven't really shed light on the situation. At least she could have used those speeches to smooth out the tension between the girls. Though past cycles have had their Robins and Keenyas, this is by far the bitchiest cast yet. But amazingly, all it took was a few glasses of wine and some sightseeing to make Nicole and Bre forget the great granola-Red Bull incident of last week, and Jayla and Nik dismiss their nightlight catfight of yore. So on to the fashion, which apparently is not an interest for these four. I'd forgive them for being too American and sheltered to know what Bollywood is, but you'd think they could fake mod, punk and preppy for their meeting with Simon Doonan. Someone should have told Simon that a few pigeons would have given his bizarre live dioramas just enough impact to get through to everyone. Also, you'd think Twiggy only ever took that one photo in her whole career — or is ANTM's photo budget too small to get rights to her others? I would have enjoyed hearing more of the critiques of the girls' go-sees, but maybe the Ben Sherman designer had enough hate for Jayla to spread around. Did Jayla sense that danger and purposely sabotage Bre with a Benadryl and Tylenol PM? Bre kicked her butt in the photos anyway. Nicole wasn't doing too bad for herself either. And Nik's posing skills put her over the top. Having his proper Sri Lankan mother around somehow didn't make Nigel seem like any less of a dirty old man — and I love him for it. Here I thought the sari lesson was just Nigel's chance to see them dressing again, but even the drugged-up Bre was sharp enough to guess that that would be their judging challenge. Speaking of judges, was that Barbara woman's part edited out or something? I was half-expecting her to be Mr. Jay in drag again. Ah, well, let's all wave buh-bye to Miss Jayla and her tiny teeth.

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