Todd Bridges and Jenni Meno, Skating with Celebrities
American Idol
Yes, the teases before the breaks had me hooked, and just like Tuesday night, the biggest shock was saved for the end of the show. Sporting high heels, Barbie eyebrows and a highly muddled sense of gender, Zachary bravely took on Whitney Houston's "Queen of the Night." Didn't Simon Cowell just tell a contestant the other night to shave his face and become a female impersonator? And haven't we already been treated to a plethora of guys in wigs? What is it with Idol and the RuPaul wannabes? I found it amusing that Zachary called America "racist." Somewhere long-suffering "beautiful person" Sarah W. from The Bachelor is nodding her head in sympathy. Huge props to Idol producers for the best use of music from The Crying Game, the movie in which Jaye Davidson's character let the world in on his little secret. Zachary wasn't the only contestant to raise eyebrows — we were treated to many more gongworthy crooners, notably Nick "Flawless" McCord and Ben the cosmic coaster genius. Singing "If I Only Had a Brain" is a surefire way to prove you don't. This episode also reminded us why real "rockers" shouldn't get anywhere near American Idol. The dude incorporating his crutches into "Jump, Jive an' Wail" wins the J.D. Fortune award for pathetic prop usage. J.D.'s bedazzled megaphone was bad enough, but crutches? I tended to agree with most of the judges' picks. Lisa Tucker's gospel-edged voice was stunning, Rochelle Elaine's enthusiastic thumbs-up was well earned, and Chris Daughtry's mix of country and raspy rock should serve him well in the competition. I'm not sure about April Walsh's take on Bjork's "It's Oh So Quiet" (she wasn't), and Garet the cowboy is endearing but might quickly be mowed down as the competition moves on. It seriously was not promising when the judges told him to get singing lessons. Next week someone says nasty things about Paula Abdul, and Ryan Seacrest is outed... as a short man.