Today's News: Our Take


SHE'S ALIVE!

Third Watch's fallen firefighter Amy Carlson, whose body was ripped in two during the show's season finale, is pulling herself together for USA network's upcoming Western series Peacemakers. Carlson will play a young medical student in the drama, which stars Tom Berenger as the town sheriff. read more

SOMETHING STINKS

Limp Bizkit's oft-delayed new album has been retitled and rescheduled again. The CD, now called Panty Sniffer, will arrive in stores in September. And contrary to rampant rumors, the disc will not come wrapped in a pair of Fred Durst's undies. read more

AMERICA'S MOST BLUNTED

Talk-show host John Walsh broke his ankle on the job Thursday. Seems the 57-year-old got overenthused while taping a segment on extreme sports, injuring himself while imitating a kid skateboarder's stunt. Walsh's wipeout airs on The John Walsh Show's May 16 episode. Tempting, but we still won't watch. read more

HEY, ISN'T THAT...

Former Saturday Night Live cut-up Will Ferrell makes a surprise guest appearance on Tuesday's season finale of CBS's The Guardian, the New York Post reports. In a rare dramatic role, Ferrell — who mysteriously went by the alias Phil Reston in the credits — plays a new lawyer at the show's Pittsburgh-based legal-assistance center. read more

NOTHING COMPARES TO GOD

Sinead O'Connor — who announced earlier this year that she's quitting the music biz in July — has settled on a new gig: religion teacher. "I want to train to become a religion teacher of primary school children," the Irish singer told Dublin's Evening Herald. Her first order of business: Teaching the kids how to tear up pictures of the Pope without getting paper cuts. read more

ROCKIN' ELSEWHERE

After 23 years, Sharon Osbourne has announced that husband Ozzy will dump his label, Sony Music. No reason was cited for the "amicable split," except that the rocker is looking for "fresh ideas." In related news, Sony stock was expected to skyrocket on word that Ozzy's tin-eared daughter Kelly will also be leaving the label. read more

ROSIE NEWS

Rosie O'Donnell hasn't completely given up on the magazine business. The ex-Rosie editor has landed her own column in the gay and lesbian mag The Advocate. In her first column, which appears in the May 13 issue, O'Donnell describes how fame robbed her of her "yellow" — a metaphor she uses for energy and happiness. In her second column, she'll discuss how fame lined her pockets with "green" — a metaphor she uses for heaps of cash. read more

WELCOME RETURN

It looks like NBC wants Frasier to go out with a bang. Two of the sitcom's most celebrated writer/producers — Christopher Lloyd and Joe Keenan — have agreed to return as exec producers this fall for the show's 11th (and likely final) season, Variety reports. read more

WHAT WILL THEY THINK OF NEXT?

Here's another reminder that it's sweeps time on TV: Next Thursday's Late Night with Conan O'Brien will be a clay animated re-creation of an October episode featuring Jackass star Johnny Knoxville, comedian Richard Lewis and musical guest David Bowie. read more

BAD BOYS, WHATCHA GONNA DO

Actor Tom Sizemore's domestic violence case is heating up. The star of CBS's defunct Robbery Homicide Division already faces charges for assaulting an ex-girlfriend and intimidating a witness in the case. Now, Celebrity Justice reports he's been arrested again, this time for threatening another potential witness — his ex-fiancée Heidi Fleiss. Sizemore allegedly left a message on the Hollywood Madam's answering machine, threatening to "knock out her teeth, kill her and harm members of her family" if she testified against him. He was released on $100,000 bail early Friday. read more

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