Today's News: Our Take

Paradise Hotel OK, I still have...

Paradise Hotel
OK, I still have no idea what "the game" was, but now that the whole thing is over, I must say that this two-hour nightmare was more addictive than a crack-filled Krispy Kreme. Codependent Dave got nada, Keith and Tara got a quarter mil each and hopefully, everyone else got a prescription to cure whatever they caught from one another. Oh, and I have seen the face of Satan: Man-woman Toni talking Charla out of sharing her winnings with anyone. The power of Christ compels you!!

It's All Relative
Wow, ABC has a sitcom I might actually watch again. Lenny Clarke yells too much and needs to watch his salt intake, but we love Maggie Lawson ever since she did that Nancy Drew TV-movie. And who can't appreciate Frasier's Bebe, Harriet Sansom Harris as a dowdy housewife you just know is bound for a makeover from her future Queer Eye in-laws? Looked like a sti read more


Robert Kardashian, who served as part of O.J. Simpson's "dream team," died Tuesday night at his home in Los Angeles eight weeks after being diagnosed with cancer of the esophagus. He was 59. read more


Maria Shriver announced Tuesday that she will return to work at NBC News whether or not hubby Arnold Schwarzenegger becomes California's next governor. "I've been working for 26 years," she said. "Journalism is a passion of mine." read more

Temptation Tomcat Tells All!

After he behaved so boorishly on Temptation Island 3 that his girlfriend, Melissa, was forced to hook up with homeboy Jerome, you'd think goofy, girl-crazy Michael wouldn't have any fans. But in this weird world, that isn't the case. "Guys seem to like me a lot," the bartender tells TV Guide Online. "I guess it's because how I acted on the show is the way they would dream of acting, but they don't necessarily have the [stones] to do it!"

Maybe. Then again, it could just be that Michael's fellow men simply were raised better than to breast-knead on national television and use language that was so explicit, it made host Mark L. Walberg blush. Seriously, dude — you kiss your mama with that mouth? "She knows how I am," he insists, chuckling, "and she's very open to sexual conversations. She'll talk about, you know, 'Oh, buy condoms,' or whatever. Just recently, actually...

"My father thought it was hilarious [that I copp read more


Talk shows from Ellen DeGeneres and Sharon Osbourne finished in a Nielsen dead-heat in their second weeks on the air. The new gabfests notched a 1.5 rating to rank as the season's highest-rated new syndicated offerings. Oprah and Dr. Phil, meanwhile, saw their premiere-week ratings soar 18 percent over last year. read more


Tom Sizemore, who was convicted in August of harassing former galpal Heidi Fleiss, has entered an undisclosed rehab program, the Los Angeles City Attorney says. As a result, the actor's sentencing hearing — originally scheduled to take place Friday — has been postponed until Oct. 9. read more

Why Jack Black Stinks

Best known for his off-the-wall antics in movies like Saving Silverman and High Fidelity, Jack Black probably isn't someone you'd want molding your kid's mind. Even so, he plays a substitute fifth-grade teacher in his newest flick, School of Rock (opening Friday). Hollywood's stage mothers can breathe a sigh of relief, though, since he didn't try to impart any slacker ideals to his young co-stars.

"I wasn't really a teacher," Black tells TV Guide Online. "In between scenes, we were just sort of compatriots. We were all in a platoon, on a mission, and they were rockin' as hard as I was. We would just hang out and fart around and just try to stay loose."

Better yet, Black — who pens pretty raunchy lyrics for his real-life band Tenacious D — cleaned up his crass vocab whenever little ears were on the set. "I dropped no F-bombs," the 34-year-old manchild recalls, with a tinge of regret. "I brought the rock, but I d read more


Plus-size comedian Louie Anderson has been admitted to a Los Angeles hospital for an unspecified heart problem. However, a rep for the 50-year-old performer insists Anderson did not suffer a heart attack. read more


An Oct. 28 trial date was set in the case pitting Rosie O'Donnell against Gruner + Jahr USA, the publisher's of her now-defunct Rosie magazine. O'Donnell claims she was denied editorial control while G+J says the former talk-show host acted unprofessionally and irresponsibly. Incidentally, O'Donnell's court date falls just four days after her Boy George-headlined Broadway musical Taboo begins performances. That has to suck. read more


The Motion Picture Assoc. of America has ruled that Hollywood studios can no longer send Oscar voters videos or DVDs of films vying for awards consideration. MPAA President Jack Valenti says some of last year's screeners were copied and illegally pirated. Now, Academy members will have to get up off their lazy butts and go to a movie theater. And me? I may actually have to buy my family Christmas gifts this year. read more

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