Today's News: Our Take


Rachel L., a 27-year-old newlywed from Sammamish, Wash., was crowned the prettiest former ugly chick on the planet on last night's finale of The Swan. In addition to her new surgically enhanced bod, Rachel wins a modeling contract with Champagne Trott Agency (get out!), a designer wardrobe that includes Tadashi, St. Pucchi and Claire's Collection (that's Greek for K-Mart, Dress Barn and Claire Danes hand-me-downs) and a $50,000 educational scholarship at Western International University (I hear that's tough to get into). read more


Snoop Dogg's marriage has fizzled out. Citing "irreconcilable differences," the rapper-actor is seeking a divizzle from his wife of seven years, Shante Broadus. Snoop reportedly wants joint custody of the couple's three children. read more


Have you ever fantasized about what The Swan would look like without all of the apocalyptic overtones and Amanda Byram? NBC is betting you have. According to Variety, the network has greenlit production of The Biggest Loser, an eight-episode reality series in which plus-size contestants compete to see who can achieve the most spectacular physical transformation — without going under the knife. "People will have to work to get healthy," says producer Ben Silverman. "There are no short cuts." (Unless you're really freaky looking, in which case a little nip, tuck and suck will be allowed.) read more


Vermont-based jam band Phish announced Tuesday that they will break up at the end of their upcoming summer tour. In a message posted on the band's website, frontman Trey Anastasio said the group mutually agreed that "Phish has run its course." Their final album, Undermind, hits stores June 15. read more


American Idol producer Simon Fuller is teaming up with Dick Clark to resurrect TV's seminal song-and-dance revue, American Bandstand. The new version, which will feature a fresh competition element, is slated to debut in summer 2005. read more


Victoria Beckham is standing by her man, telling the new Marie Claire that "David's never cheated on me... I really do believe deep down that I have the most faithful husband I could hope for." Posh Spice also squashed reports that her studly hubby is into porn, claiming he actually prefers to watch the British gardening show Ground Force. (Insert your own hoe joke here.) read more


HBO has dropped plans for a Sex and the City feature film after Kim Cattrall refused to commit. (But she's nothing like Samantha. Really.) According to Variety, Cattrall insisted on having both script approval and a paycheck equal to series star Sarah Jessica Parker. When HBO refused to meet her demands, the diva apparently backed out and instead signed on to Disney's upcoming skating flick Ice Princess. Cattrall's rep says her client "waited as long as possible with no script or start date and felt she had to take other offers that were presented to her." Responds HBO, diplomatically: "We've had six wonderful years with the show and we're extremely proud of what we've accomplished." Translation: "We let you frolic naked with Jason Lewis and this is read more

Yes, Dear This episode makes me...

Yes, Dear
This episode makes me ask myself one question: How nice would the guesthouse have to be for me to willingly move onto a crazy rich old man's property? Hmmm.

Have we ever discussed the fact that this show is called Eve — the real name of its rap star — but the star's character's name is Shelley? I'm just saying.

But anyway...

Why is Eve, I mean, Shelley, forcing J.T.'s hand? "Does our relationship have a future?" she asked. "Can you see yourself spending the rest of your life with me?" Now you know that's a dangerous question. Even if he does see himself having a future with you (which he does), he doesn't want to think of it in those terms. Girl, have you lost your mind?

The Swan: The Pageant
OK. The "world's most unique pageant" was also the world's worst pageant ever in the history of bathing-suit competitions everywhere. I mean, damn: Just because something read more

Question: Did 7th Heaven's ...

Question: Did 7th Heaven's Happy the dog die in real life? I read that he died on the WB site's message board. Please clear this up for me. — Mel, Fla.

Televisionary: You're barking up the wrong tree, Mel. A nice lady at the WB tells me Happy is alive and well. Don't believe such tails.

read more


NBC has decided to dump the remaining episodes of The Restaurant on a night when most people will be holed up in a real restaurant. Episodes 4 and 5 will air this Saturday at 8 and 9 pm/ET, respectively, and the series finale will run on Saturday, June 5 at 8 pm/ET. read more

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