Today's News: Our Take

Question: Who's your favorite ...

Question: Who's your favorite Smurf? — Amy

Ausiello: I have a soft spot for Vanity. Don't ask me why, but I do. Hey, speaking of the little Village People, did you all hear the news that DIC Kid's Network has acquired 26 classic Smurf episodes and will air them as part of a new three-hour block in January! All of my subtle hints have paid off! (Now will someone please tell me what the heck DIC Kid's Network is?)

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Question: Thank you. Now I ...

Question: Thank you. Now I have the Smurf theme song stuck in my head. How am I supposed to get anything done with "La, la, la, la, la, la... " blasting in my head all day? — Elissa

Ausiello: Allow me to introduce you to my good friend, Anita Prozac. If anyone can make the singing stop, it's her.

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Question: Has anyone ever ...

Question: Has anyone ever told you you look like Buster Poindexter? — Erica.

Ausiello: Not to my face, Erica.

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Question: I'll admit it ? ...

Question: I'll admit it — you're getting funnier. — Manon

Ausiello: I'm proud of you, Manon. That took a great deal of courage.

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Question: "Ausiello Alerts," ...

Question: "Ausiello Alerts," or "Alerts from Ausiello?" — Charlotte

Ausiello: Your last name wouldn't happen to be Ross, would it?

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Question: I take it back ? ...

Question: I take it back — the Smurfs rule (""Ask Ausiello" 11/17)! Now, spill the beans about David Schwimmer's upcoming cameo on Joey. — Chase

Ausiello: Oh, I just said that to get you to stop picking on my little blue friends. But I've got something else for you. Vincent Pastore (aka The Sopranos' Big Pussy) will play a pit boss who Gina encounters during a trip to Vegas in the Dec. 2 episode. Will that suffice?

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Question: You're cute! Which ...

Question: You're cute! Which team do you play on? Danny Pintauro's or Colin Farrell's? — Carlos M.

Ausiello: A-ha, trick question! Danny Pintauro doesn't play sports. Nice try, Carlos.

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Question: Hey, Aus! I've got ...

Question: Hey, Aus! I've got a great title for your soon-to-be-renamed "TV News" column in TV Guide magazine ("Ask Ausiello" 11/17). Tell the higher-ups that Anthony from NYC thought up "All-knowing Ausiello News." — Anthony from NYC

Ausiello: Well, I ran it by the fact-checkers here and they gave it the thumbs-up. That's a good start.

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Question: This is the first ...

Question: This is the first time I've read your column and I love it! Hopefully, they won't cancel it like they did Angel. — Victoria

Ausiello: Good news, Vick! "Ask Ausiello" has been picked up for the remainder of the season. Next stop: syndication. On that note, Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

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Question: Have you ever ...

Question: Have you ever considered being a sitcom writer? — Nikki

Ausiello: As a matter of fact, yes. Back in my roaring 20s, I wrote spec scripts for Roseanne and Empty Nest that were actually quite funny, if I do say so myself. The Roseanne episode dealt with Rosie accusing D.J. of buying porn, only to later discover that it came from Dan's private stash. And the Nest story revolved around Carol and Barbara attempting to catch a serial burglar, only to later discover that it was just David Leisure sneaking in to use their cable. If there are any literary agents out there guffawing over themselves while reading this, I can drop fresh copies of these in the mail as early as today.

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