Today's News: Our Take


A group called World Ahead Publishing is offering a new take on firearm "buyback" programs by offering consumers a chance to exchange their Fahrenheit 9/11 DVD for a copy of the pro-Dubya book, Thank You, President Bush. The offer kicks in Oct. 5, when Michael Moore's incendiary flick arrives on DVD. In related news, folks who purchase Paris Hilton's new self-help tome, Confessions of an Heiress, can trade that in at any hospital for a CAT scan. read more


Turns out Sunday's Emmy Awards weren't in fact the lowest rated ever, as I stated here yesterday. They were the second lowest. Either way, Elaine Stritch is still not gonna be happy. read more


On Monday night, CSI: Miami scored 22 million viewers, effectively grounding time-slot rival LAX in its second week on the air. NBC's airport drama pulled in only 8 million pairs of eyeballs, ranking Heather Locklear and Co. a distant third in the Nielsens. (Ouch!) Meanwhile, Shannen Doherty's much-anticipated debut on North Shore did nothing to help Fox's struggling nighttime sudser, which was trounced by WB's 7th Heaven, for goodness sake. Seriously, if Heather can't save her show, what hope does Shannen have? read more


The WB is getting back in business with J.J. Abrams, the dude who gave the network its best show ever, Felicity. (No offense, Buffy fans.) According to Variety, Abrams is developing a twentysomething-themed drama for the Frog net titled Six Degrees. read more


The spoofmeisters behind Scary Movie 3 have zeroed in on their next target: superhero films. Variety reports that Dimension has given David Zucker, Craig Mazin and Robert Weiss the go-ahead on Superhero!, a comedy that parodies such films as Spider-Man, Batman and next summer's Fantastic Four. read more

Question: I recently saw an ...

Question: I recently saw an episode of Bonanza and Patricia Blair was in it. I know she starred on a TV show, but cannot remember what it was. — Rusty

Televisionary: Well, you've got your choice, actually. From 1962 to '63, she was innkeeper and con woman Lou Mallory on ABC's The Rifleman, and from 1964 to '70 she played Rebecca Boone, Daniel's wife on Daniel Boone.

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North Shore Shannen Doherty arrives...

North Shore
Shannen Doherty arrives at the Grand Waimea and wastes no time paying homage to the network and series that made her infamous. When her character, Alexandra, is asked how she likes Hawaii, she smirkingly replies, "Beats the hell out of Beverly Hills." That's right, baby, the bitch is back! (Her second-best line came when some obnoxious kids were running around her table: "Do something or I will." Admit it, you know you've wanted to say that to inattentive parents at least once in your life.) And I knew, knew, knew that she was in cahoots with Tessa. That single tear running down her cheek when she was baring her soul to newfound half sister (or is she?) Nicole was a dead giveaway.

Listen Up
Over on CBS, another familiar face pops up, with far less satisfying results. Jason Alexander's back in this painfully unfunny comedy about a sports talk-show host who begins writing a newspaper column about life and end read more


Piano Man Billy Joel received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame Monday. "It looks like I'm always going be here," he said at the unveiling. Except when he's behind the wheel, in which case he'll be on your front lawn. read more


Comedian Rodney Dangerfield, who underwent heart-valve replacement surgery last month, has slipped into what his wife Joan is calling a "light coma." But in a statement, she added that her 82-year-old hubby "is starting to show signs of awareness, and we are all hopeful that he will regain full consciousness soon." read more


Oklahoma City prosecutors formally charged Home Alone star Macaulay Culkin with two misdemeanor drug counts Monday after police found him in possession of marijuana and several Xanax tablets (Mmmm... Xanax!) during a traffic stop Friday. No court date has been set. read more

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