So Hurley is a millionaire lottery winner who was falsely arrested. I totally thought it looked like a Cops episode when I spotted the hidden Hurley last week. That's an answer, of sorts, but as with everything else on this show, one answer means at least ten more questions. Like where the heck did those numbers come from? Why are they on that secret hatch that Locke's been trying to crack open? And why did they cause Hurley, I mean Hugo, to have such a string of bad luck? I mean the grandfather dying and sister-in-law having a lesbian affair could happen to anyone, but a priest getting struck by lightning during grandpa's funeral, witnessing a person falling from a skyscraper, or unknowingly owning a sneaker factory that burned down and caused employee deaths? That just ain't right. No wonder he thinks he's cursed. I'd believe him, especially if I was trying to screw in
Question: Did J.J. Abrams make you pull that Alias spoiler you promised? Amy
Ausiello: I was wondering when the conspiracy theories would start.
Question: Your column is the strangest... but I am hooked. Karen
Ausiello: You should try it in powder form.
Question: Some rabid Enterprise fans are actually trying to raise money (like $30 million) to pay for a final season of the show. Do you think they have a Snapple's chance of succeeding? Dubious
Ausiello: Seems like a long shot, but I gotta admire their spunk. I actually considered taking up a collection for a Santa Barbara reunion movie, but then it hit me: I'd probably just end up spending the donations on Smurfs.
Question: I think a Spike TV-movie would be great! Teri
Ausiello: So, apparently, does James Marsters. In his first interview since I pitched WB president David Janollari the idea of doing a Spike telepic, the 42-year-old actor told my colleague, Ben Katner, that he's game for resurrecting his soulful Buffyverse counterpart "as long as I could do it within, say, the next four or five years; past that, I'm too old. Spike's a vampire, man, and I've got high standards you have to believe that the guy has not aged since we met him. There's a little poetic license, but I don't want to get into a situation where the script says, 'Well, he was drinking pig blood and he aged,' you know? [Whatever Joss Whedon wrote] would be funnier than that it would be delightful but it would be taking away the coolest thing about a vampire, which is that he's iconic... he does not
Question: How can Lauren Graham get an Emmy nod for her fantastic dramatic work on Gilmore Girls this season if series creator Amy Sherman-Palladino insists on putting the show in the comedy category? Cheryl
Ausiello: Because there's precedent: Sarah Jessica Parker won her Emmy for an overly dramatic episode of Sex and the City last year.
Question: I find it funny that this column is listed under "News." Meg
Ausiello: Yeah, that cracks me up, too.
Question: If Matt Roush's Ask Matt gets to run twice a week, when will we start getting a second helping of Ask Ausiello? Jamie P
Ausiello: When TV Guide can afford the license fee. Unlike Ask Matt, Ask Ausiello is very expensive to produce.
Question: Hey, just so you know, I read your column and I love you, even if you don't have an endorsement deal (Ask Ausiello 2/23). Want me to send you some cases of your favorite flavor? If so, just say the word! Wendy the Snapple Lady
Ausiello: Wow! First Greg Grunberg asks Ausiello to pitch his pet charity, and now Wendy the Snapple Lady writes in to offer me free product in a veiled attempt to get me to call off my Snapple boycott. So, this is what power feels like. I'll tell you what, Ms. Wendy. I'll go back to my Snapple-lovin' ways under one condition: Please put your Celebrity Fit Club costar Daniel Baldwin out of his misery. I don't care how you do it, just end the poor guy's suffering. He's making a mockery of the good Baldwin name. And as far as the free Snapple goes, m
Question: So, Mr. Ausiello, tell me this: Who was the first person you contacted from Paris' phone book when it hit the Internet? Amanda
Ausiello: Like everyone else, I immediately e-mailed Pat O'Brien.