Today's News: Our Take


SHORT CUTS

Barbra Streisand has announced plans to release a new, as-yet-untitled album in September written and produced by Bee Gees icon Barry Gibb... BET is developing a hip-hop version of The Apprentice with mogul-in-the-making Damon Dash in the Donald Trump role, per The Hollywood Reporter... Finally, in a major coup, TVGuide.com has obtained the exclusive photo/story rights to my big day as a guest star on WB's Gilmore Girls. Click here for all the behind-the-scenes action! read more

24The Bachelor OK, for real, do...

24
Kudos to everyone who guessed correctly: Anderson stole the Stealth bomber to shoot down Air Force One. But did you notice he brought the plane down but didn't take it out completely? Only in the coming attractions did we get a few clues as to why. Looks like this latest terrorist plot was less about killing the president and more about stealing any top-secret information on board. Which just so happens to be the codes and locations to our entire nuclear arsenal. Yeah, that's something you want Marwan to get his hands on. While this ep didn't exactly have me on the edge of my seat (it was fairly obvious what was going to happen) there were little lightening bolts along the way. When the flight simulator and plane schematics were found on Anderson's hard drive, I flashed back to the real terrorists of 9/11 (one of the hazards of watching a show like this). And when Chloe said "we're being beaten by our read more

REEL ESTATE

The Cleveland house featured in the holiday classic A Christmas Story has been purchased on eBay for $150,000. The new owner, 29-year-old San Diego resident Brian Jones, plans to restore the home's exterior to the deep yellow with green-trimmed windows it had in the movie. He also wants to create a museum in the house and open a gift shop, selling such items as Ovaltine, Little Orphan Annie decoder rings, leg lamps and, oh fuuuuudge. read more

PARIS' NEW BEAU

Jason Mewes' digits are about to make their debut in Paris Hilton's Sidekick. Kevin Smith's go-to guy has just been cast opposite Hilton in Bottoms Up, a Swingers-type comedy/drama about a Midwestern bartender (Mewes) who falls in love with Hilton's character, only to discover that she can't act. read more

ONE SLIME DAY

The Incredibles was named favorite movie and Adam Sandler and Hilary Duff won best actor and actress at Saturday's 18th annual Kids Choice Awards. Tube winners included American Idol (fave TV show), Romeo (favorite actor) and Raven Symone (favorite actress), while Green Day, Usher and Avril Lavigne swept the music categories. And among the celebs dripping in slime this year were Will Ferrell, Johnny Depp, host Ben Stiller and Pat O'Brien. read more

JESSICA FLETCHER ALERT!

Angela Lansbury is returning to series television this May as part of a crossover between Law & Order: SVU and Law & Order: Trial by Jury. The almost-octogenarian will play the well-heeled mother of a rape/murder suspect (guest star Alfred Molina). And here's an exciting little tidbit: The casting coup was orchestrated by Trial producer Chris Levinson, whose father, Richard Levinson, cocreated Murder, She Wrote. OK, maybe "exciting" was overstating things a bit. read more

DESPERATE DIVAS

ABC is coming to the defense of its Desperate Housewives. In the wake of a scathing Vanity Fair expos&#233 that rips into TV's most famous quintet (that's Teri, Nicolette, Marcia, Eva and Felicity to you) for some very divalike behavior at a recent cover shoot, ABC has issued the following statement: "Our talent were made to deal as best they could with a situation not of their making. This one isolated incident does not define these women or their relationship." How ugly did things get at said photo shoot? Well, Teri Hatcher was allegedly reduced to tears while Marcia Cross, furious at Hatcher for trying to hog the spotlight with a zowie red bathing suit, reportedly told an ABC staffer, "Get your f---ing ass over here now and do your f---ing job!" She then pulled off her wig and revealed the mother of all scars. read more

Arrested Development "Michael,...

Arrested Development
"Michael, what are you doing tomorrow?" asks Lucille. "Having my day ruined with whatever you're about to ask me to do," her son answers. Nice to see my family dynamic isn't an anomaly.

You know the toughest thing about writing up this show? Whenever I take the time to make note of one really funny thing, I miss three other ones. But damn, I have to say once again that poor, hapless George Michael's face makes me giggle every week with its permanent mix of adolescent terror, earnestness and befuddlement.

"Take me. Take me to your secular world," pleads the devout Mrs. Veal (Say Anything's Ione Skye!) as she tries to kiss Michael. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and says that's the first time that's ever been said on TV and, probably, the first time it's ever been said... ever.

I'm also gonna proclaim f read more

ANCHOR'S AWAY

It's official: JAG will end its decade-long tour of duty with a one-hour series finale on April 29, CBS confirmed Monday. In a statement, Eye president Les Moonves said, "CBS is proud to have been JAG's home for nine seasons, and we salute the incredible talents and accomplishments of Don Bellisario, the cast and its crew." Now, let's see Harm and Mac hit the freakin' sheets! read more

Arrested Development "Michael,...

Arrested Development
"Michael, what are you doing tomorrow?" asks Lucille. "Having my day ruined with whatever you're about to ask me to do," her son answers. Nice to see my family dynamic isn't an anomaly.

You know the toughest thing about writing up this show? Whenever I take the time to make note of one really funny thing, I miss three other ones. But damn, I have to say once again that poor, hapless George Michael's face makes me giggle every week with its permanent mix of adolescent terror, earnestness and befuddlement.

"Take me! Take me to your secular world," pleads the devout Mrs. Veal (Say Anything's Ione Skye!) as she tries to kiss Michael. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that's the first time that has ever been said on TV and, probably, the first time it's ever been said... ever.

I'm also gonna proclaim read more

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