24 Well, we've all been wondering where the hell Desmond ran off to earlier this season on Lost turns out he had a little espionage to take care of on behalf of the German government. Clearly, this guy's drawn to dudes named Jack like a moth to a flame. So let this be a lesson to you, "Theo," if that is your real name: You mess with Jack Shephard and you'll end up punching a set of mysterious numbers into a souped-up Commodore 64 every 108 minutes for months on end. But you mess with Jack Bauer, and brother, you can kiss your six months of undercover groundwork

and the decidedly ill-timed love of your life goodbye. Oh, and your PDA's gonna burst into flames, too. (That's what we call getting served Bauer-style. Hope it was as tasty for you as it was for us.) Meanwhile, the VP's got Logan sold on this whole martial-law thing, the goons from Homeland Security are on the scene and threatening to "absorb" CTU (eww...), Wayne Palmer's got some intel that just might get him killed, and at long last I've got a valid reason to detest Audrey Raines. If our guns-in-unusual-places friend Collette knows what she's talking about, good ol' Audrey's the latest in our long line of turncoats which I'm guessing will lead to some truly spectacular interrogation goodness next week. See there? No matter how bleak things may seem, there's always the potential for a little well-earned violence on the horizon. And that, my friends, is how I'm managing to cope with the one-two Edgar-Tony punch.